intro is still too wide and goes down too many rabbit holes.

For the quote – remove “He is an artist”. The rest of the quote flows very well with the rest of the text

Is the stress of being a leader dragging you down?

This feels like a better theme than stress: learned to speak my truth without the other party feeling attacked or judged.learned to speak my truth without the other party feeling attacked or judged.

Hey, Sara! Great post. You’re really zeroing in on your clients’ problem state. The program I think can be a little more concrete. Right now it kind of reads like it just consists of two calls. Can you spell out a little of what you do and what you help your client to do?

I like it- maybe With Easy Business™ Bookkeeping VIP, includes XXXX and 2 BONUS 1:1 sessions with me, where I guide you through what’s holding you back so you can implement the system seamlessly for your business.

A couple of additional thoughts, Sara:
I think the meta-message (the underlying message of everything you say) is EASE. For instance, I see the word ‘templates’ and I think, oh yeah, that’s what’ll make things easy for me. I want to know more about THAT!
$2k is a big spend for me. I want a little more specificity in what’s included. Like a bullet…Read More

Sara, this feels really clear to me.

This could speak to any business person out there, so there for it doesn’t speak to anyone. A few suggestions, but see if you can get smaller with who you help on this as well.

Are you stuck in overwhelm when it comes to getting your financial information organized so you can file your taxes? And so instead you help a client with their health…Read More

This was clear to me. You identified who this is for, what their struggle is, how your program will help and that for this one time cost your clients gain a system they can use for years.

Great testimonial!

I like how you spaced out the top part. One thing – I’m not sure if you need both of these:
Are your parents aging?
Are you caring for a parent or loved one?

So – I’m here to offer action steps to navigate the emotions of aging parents & caregiving over the next 8 weeks – Here I think you need a word before parents because it feels to me when I read it that you are managing the emotions OF the aging parent and not the emotions of having an aging parent. Does that make sense?

There is a typo here, skill needs an ‘s’: – and gain skill to navigate uncertainty.

Love the last line!

Other than what we discussed in the breakout. This feels really long and duplicating. I got lost in all the information, can you offer the hook, the the problem and offer with less?

Claire – like this a lot! I think to really make this pop you can talk a little bit about what the inner compass is and what the wound healing is. I think this will strengthen the piece and pull people in more.

Liked this, Claire. I second Shannon’s comment. I also get the problem state of confusion and mixed messages around women’s power. Bravo!

What about identifying more of what feminine energy id rather than focusing on masculine energy or what healing looks/feels like?

Instead of: Here is what a client went through – could you say something like “here is what a recent client experienced during our work together” – to tie it more to her work with you?

Hi Dan, I love your story. I was wondering at the beginning how you d use the stepping in front of the camera, and I love, and resonate with what you describe, bringing in your essence, your unique style, your ever evolving, and taking us through your experience 🙂 pitty I am so far away !

Dan – great start. I think I would love to see a more personalized CTA here that positions your unique approach. Something maybe like this: Are you a coach, consultant or transformational leader committed to being boldly visible in service of sharing your gifts with your right-fit clients? Would you like to share the full essence of who you are in…Read More

Very engaging and then your invitation to action dropped off. As usual Shannons is on point to complete your captivating beginning.

You have already shared this, correct?

What part specifically would you like feedback on?

I’m not sure if this is something you talk about in your work, but what about a result of your teens becoming more independent? For example – managing their own homework, courseload, schedule etc. Maybe that falls under resilience, but I know many parents who feel like they can’t get their teen to take ownership of things. On another note – I am…Read More

one question. do your parents say they want help with their parenting skills? If not, rework this line:
It’s okay, take a breath- I’m here to help you calm your nerves, boost your confidence as a parent, all while helping your child get on the right track to more positive social thinking skills in 4 weeks.

Many parents of young children delay seeking outside social skills support for their child for a couple of reasons –
-valid reasons too! how about for valid reasons.

I love the picture you painted. Great job! My question is – what age children is the group for? Elementary? Teens? I can tell it’s for younger children but maybe specifying age will help people to self identify with it more.