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Reminder: We kick off our list-building challenge today at 2pm ET. You needed to add your name to the list to get the zoom and workbook. If you didn’t do that, please go here before 1pm ET: code CPLAB97 at this link here:
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HI All- I am so excited to be a part of the group. I found that peer reviews, suggestions and input can be priceless.
Here is what I have come up with after listening to last weeks lesson and being a part of today’s.Please comment on my email tag line is it compelling you to open the email?
Does the story resonate and have impact?
Is my…Read More![]()
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6 Comments-
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![Profile picture of KathyTarbell]()
thanks!
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![Profile picture of AmyHager]()
Can you tie this back to the story? These questions are all very vague (but I do want to say… a good start) I know you can bring this together.
What would you want your photo shoot to include? Is there a theme you like? An outfit that is the bomb? A fantasy look that you want to explore? Reply to this email and share with me. I love to hear and…Read More-
![Profile picture of KathyTarbell]()
Thank you! Will work on it some more 🙂
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![Profile picture of Blair Hope]()
Your subject line would get me to open your email!
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![Profile picture of KathyTarbell]()
Thanks!
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So great to be with you all today – great interactions and love the feedback and support
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Email Number 4- Does this email speak to those looking to change their health and is it clear that if they sign up for the Masterclass they will have the answers to better health? @amymshannonhernandez-com @clientsmshannonhernandez-com
Subject Line: Do Holidays mean Overeating?
Preview: Is it possible to enjoy a holiday where it isn’t all…Read More![Profile Photo]()
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3 Comments-
![Profile picture of KathyTarbell]()
I think that it is somewhat clear on what the masterclass covers. You might consider taking out the second to last paragraph ( Are you clear….) Clear is used quite a bit at the end of the email you may want to use some other words.
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![Profile picture of Jaini Shah]()
Thank you! Good point, clear is there a lot, I’ll edit that part 🙂
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![Profile picture of Shannon]()
Hi @jaini-shah15gmail-com – love this take on holidays and over eating. Can you include in the last paragraph a bulleted list of the 3 takeaways from the workshop?
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Email Number 3- if you read this email, would you want to know more about what food to eat and avoid? Hoping to get some discovery calls booked! @amymshannonhernandez-com @clientsmshannonhernandez-com
Subject Line: Does it rot?
Preview: How do you know if food is real?Hook Line: Something weird happened, I bought a croissant and decided…Read More
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2 Comments-
![Profile picture of AmyHager]()
Don’t add fluff to the hook line
Hook Line: Something weird happened, I bought a croissant and decided not to eat it, and then A YEAR LATER- the croissant is still here 😷😷Get straight to it: I bought a croissant and decided not to eat it, and then A YEAR LATER- the croissant is still here
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![Profile picture of Shannon]()
agreed! less words = more clarity (in cases like this)
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Email Number 2- Please share your thoughts- Does this email make you feel curious about your hunger needs? And get you thinking, do I want to reassess my relationship with food?
Subject Line: Hunger isn’t about food 😱😱
Preview: I was recently proven right about this, you can be full and lose weight!Hook Line: Hunger is 99% NEVER about the…Read More
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I LOVE this piece – and the opening line. and the story! Well done @jaini-shah15gmail-com. Remember, subject lines and preview lines need to be 5 words or less – so you need to rethink this long preview line.
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Hi all – new to the group and excited to be here. I am a bookkeeper who loves to educate clients on what they can learn from their numbers to help grow their businesses.
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I am creating a landing page for an online masterclass that I am hosting on 29 July 2024. Below is the text for the landing page (or you can have a look at the landing page here: https://wildbutterfly.myflodesk.com/nkh6awy5pc). Would love your thoughts everyone in the community and @amymshannonhernandez-com and @clientsmshannonhernandez-com on…Read More
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![Profile picture of AmyHager]()
Did you watch the landing page training? It doesn’t seem so, my suggestion is to go back to it and watch it.
Your email is more aligned VS your landing page.-
![Profile picture of Jaini Shah]()
Thanks! Which month is the landing page training? I’ll add that to the resources I need to watch.
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![Profile picture of Jaini Shah]()
Thanks will watch this!
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Hi Guys! Here’s my first email draft since Wednesday’s call. I’d love if you could have a read and let me now, does this make you want to sign up for a free discovery call?
Subject Line: Tell Your Mind Better Things
Preview: You can cheat your mind so that you can have a better experience.It was 11.30pm, there’s a massive elephant 5 meters…Read More
2 Comments-
![Profile picture of AmyHager]()
Flip the order of this: I definitely did start to pray on repeat. But before that, I felt helpless, powerless, and that anything could happen. And my husband was right next to me calm as a cucumber. I was wondering, what’s wrong with me, why am I freaking out? What am I not understanding?
I felt helpless and powerless that anything could happen i…Read More
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![Profile picture of Jaini Shah]()
Thanks!
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Really like the subject line, often we shy away from pain. And the story is wonderful. The line that the photo shoot was her reset point really resonated with me. For the first line of the email, perhaps look at how to make the first sentence more about the emotion than the fact that you had a meeting. Shooting in the dark but something like I was…Read More