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So great to be with you all today – great interactions and love the feedback and support
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Email Number 4- Does this email speak to those looking to change their health and is it clear that if they sign up for the Masterclass they will have the answers to better health? @amymshannonhernandez-com @clientsmshannonhernandez-com
Subject Line: Do Holidays mean Overeating?
Preview: Is it possible to enjoy a holiday where it isn’t all…Read More![Profile Photo]()
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![Profile picture of Jaini Shah]()
Thank you! Good point, clear is there a lot, I’ll edit that part 🙂
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![Profile picture of Shannon]()
Hi @jaini-shah15gmail-com – love this take on holidays and over eating. Can you include in the last paragraph a bulleted list of the 3 takeaways from the workshop?
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Email Number 3- if you read this email, would you want to know more about what food to eat and avoid? Hoping to get some discovery calls booked! @amymshannonhernandez-com @clientsmshannonhernandez-com
Subject Line: Does it rot?
Preview: How do you know if food is real?Hook Line: Something weird happened, I bought a croissant and decided…Read More
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Don’t add fluff to the hook line
Hook Line: Something weird happened, I bought a croissant and decided not to eat it, and then A YEAR LATER- the croissant is still here 😷😷Get straight to it: I bought a croissant and decided not to eat it, and then A YEAR LATER- the croissant is still here
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![Profile picture of Shannon]()
agreed! less words = more clarity (in cases like this)
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Email Number 2- Please share your thoughts- Does this email make you feel curious about your hunger needs? And get you thinking, do I want to reassess my relationship with food?
Subject Line: Hunger isn’t about food 😱😱
Preview: I was recently proven right about this, you can be full and lose weight!Hook Line: Hunger is 99% NEVER about the…Read More
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I LOVE this piece – and the opening line. and the story! Well done @jaini-shah15gmail-com. Remember, subject lines and preview lines need to be 5 words or less – so you need to rethink this long preview line.
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Hi all – new to the group and excited to be here. I am a bookkeeper who loves to educate clients on what they can learn from their numbers to help grow their businesses.
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I am creating a landing page for an online masterclass that I am hosting on 29 July 2024. Below is the text for the landing page (or you can have a look at the landing page here: https://wildbutterfly.myflodesk.com/nkh6awy5pc). Would love your thoughts everyone in the community and @amymshannonhernandez-com and @clientsmshannonhernandez-com on…Read More
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![Profile picture of AmyHager]()
Did you watch the landing page training? It doesn’t seem so, my suggestion is to go back to it and watch it.
Your email is more aligned VS your landing page.-
![Profile picture of Jaini Shah]()
Thanks! Which month is the landing page training? I’ll add that to the resources I need to watch.
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Thanks will watch this!
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Hi Guys! Here’s my first email draft since Wednesday’s call. I’d love if you could have a read and let me now, does this make you want to sign up for a free discovery call?
Subject Line: Tell Your Mind Better Things
Preview: You can cheat your mind so that you can have a better experience.It was 11.30pm, there’s a massive elephant 5 meters…Read More
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![Profile picture of AmyHager]()
Flip the order of this: I definitely did start to pray on repeat. But before that, I felt helpless, powerless, and that anything could happen. And my husband was right next to me calm as a cucumber. I was wondering, what’s wrong with me, why am I freaking out? What am I not understanding?
I felt helpless and powerless that anything could happen i…Read More
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![Profile picture of Jaini Shah]()
Thanks!
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Would love feedback on this email I wrote after our session today!
Subject: It’s not about the stuff
Preview: What I’ve learned as a self taught marketer (a series)Hey NAME,
Several years ago, as a new mom learning to juggle a new career and a 1 year old, I found out my job was being eliminated. One of the biggest stressors in lif…Read More
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I like this… but one tiny change. You need to talk emotion… not brain. Change this line: I landed a job in corporate retail for a running company, but immediately knew I didn’t fit in.
I landed a job in corporate retail for a running company, but immediately felt that I didn’t fit in.
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![Profile picture of Jaini Shah]()
Nice one! Like Amy mentioned, more emotion would be great. Is there a part of the story where you made a sale to the mum who wants to run 5k? So as to share the story and then the point comes after in brief? Just a suggestion.
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For our event at the end of the month… copy this please: Register for free using code CPLAB97 at this link here:
You do no have the zoom details yet and need to do that.
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![Profile picture of Sam Brabender]()
link not working for me
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![Profile picture of AmyHager]()
can you share a screenshot?
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![Profile picture of Sam Brabender]()
when i click on it above , it does not go anywhere. However link given in the session works. Can yo remind me where I find the template/guide that was shown today?
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![Profile picture of AmyHager]()
So, you have what you need to get registered?
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![Profile picture of Sam Brabender]()
yes thanks
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![Profile picture of AmyHager]()
Replay and notes will be up under the course tomorrow.
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I think that it is somewhat clear on what the masterclass covers. You might consider taking out the second to last paragraph ( Are you clear….) Clear is used quite a bit at the end of the email you may want to use some other words.