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  • Profile picture of Jaini Shah

    Jaini Shah

    • 9 months, 4 weeks ago

    Email Number 3- if you read this email, would you want to know more about what food to eat and avoid? Hoping to get some discovery calls booked! @amymshannonhernandez-com @clientsmshannonhernandez-com

    Subject Line: Does it rot?
    Preview: How do you know if food is real?

    Hook Line: Something weird happened, I bought a croissant and decided…Read More

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    2 Comments
    • Profile picture of AmyHager
      AmyHager
      9 months, 3 weeks ago

      Don’t add fluff to the hook line
      Hook Line: Something weird happened, I bought a croissant and decided not to eat it, and then A YEAR LATER- the croissant is still here 😷😷

      Get straight to it: I bought a croissant and decided not to eat it, and then A YEAR LATER- the croissant is still here

      • Profile picture of Shannon
        Shannon
        9 months, 2 weeks ago

        agreed! less words = more clarity (in cases like this)

  • Profile picture of Jaini Shah

    Jaini Shah

    • 9 months, 4 weeks ago

    Email Number 2- Please share your thoughts- Does this email make you feel curious about your hunger needs? And get you thinking, do I want to reassess my relationship with food?

    Subject Line: Hunger isn’t about food 😱😱
    Preview: I was recently proven right about this, you can be full and lose weight!

    Hook Line: Hunger is 99% NEVER about the…Read More

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    1 Comment
    • Profile picture of Shannon
      Shannon
      9 months, 2 weeks ago

      I LOVE this piece – and the opening line. and the story! Well done @jaini-shah15gmail-com. Remember, subject lines and preview lines need to be 5 words or less – so you need to rethink this long preview line.

  • Profile picture of Lisa Johns

    Lisa Johns

    • 9 months, 4 weeks ago

    Hi all – new to the group and excited to be here. I am a bookkeeper who loves to educate clients on what they can learn from their numbers to help grow their businesses.

    Profile PhotoProfile PhotoProfile Photo liked this
  • Profile picture of Jaini Shah

    Jaini Shah

    • 10 months ago

    I am creating a landing page for an online masterclass that I am hosting on 29 July 2024. Below is the text for the landing page (or you can have a look at the landing page here: https://wildbutterfly.myflodesk.com/nkh6awy5pc). Would love your thoughts everyone in the community and @amymshannonhernandez-com and @clientsmshannonhernandez-com on…Read More

    4 Comments
    • Profile picture of AmyHager
      AmyHager
      9 months, 4 weeks ago

      Did you watch the landing page training? It doesn’t seem so, my suggestion is to go back to it and watch it.
      Your email is more aligned VS your landing page.

      • Profile picture of Jaini Shah
        Jaini Shah
        9 months, 4 weeks ago

        Thanks! Which month is the landing page training? I’ll add that to the resources I need to watch.

        • Profile picture of AmyHager
          AmyHager
          9 months, 3 weeks ago

          September 2022: Landing Page Copy

          • Profile picture of Jaini Shah
            Jaini Shah
            9 months, 3 weeks ago

            Thanks will watch this!

  • Profile picture of Jaini Shah

    Jaini Shah

    • 10 months ago

    Hi Guys! Here’s my first email draft since Wednesday’s call. I’d love if you could have a read and let me now, does this make you want to sign up for a free discovery call?

    Subject Line: Tell Your Mind Better Things
    Preview: You can cheat your mind so that you can have a better experience.

    It was 11.30pm, there’s a massive elephant 5 meters…Read More

    2 Comments
    • Profile picture of AmyHager
      AmyHager
      9 months, 4 weeks ago

      Flip the order of this: I definitely did start to pray on repeat. But before that, I felt helpless, powerless, and that anything could happen. And my husband was right next to me calm as a cucumber. I was wondering, what’s wrong with me, why am I freaking out? What am I not understanding?

      I felt helpless and powerless that anything could happen i…Read More

      • Profile picture of Jaini Shah
        Jaini Shah
        9 months, 4 weeks ago

        Thanks!

  • Profile picture of RuthieSterrett

    RuthieSterrett changed their profile picture

    • 10 months ago
    Profile PhotoProfile PhotoProfile Photo +1 liked this
  • Profile picture of RuthieSterrett

    RuthieSterrett

    • 10 months ago

    Would love feedback on this email I wrote after our session today!

    Subject: It’s not about the stuff
    Preview: What I’ve learned as a self taught marketer (a series)

    Hey NAME,

    Several years ago, as a new mom learning to juggle a new career and a 1 year old, I found out my job was being eliminated. One of the biggest stressors in lif…Read More

    lead magnet
    free workshop I am promoting this month
    https://www.theconsistencycorner.com/holiday-marketing-strategy
    Profile Photo liked this
    2 Comments
    • Profile picture of AmyHager
      AmyHager
      10 months ago

      I like this… but one tiny change. You need to talk emotion… not brain. Change this line: I landed a job in corporate retail for a running company, but immediately knew I didn’t fit in.

      I landed a job in corporate retail for a running company, but immediately felt that I didn’t fit in.

    • Profile picture of Jaini Shah
      Jaini Shah
      10 months ago

      Nice one! Like Amy mentioned, more emotion would be great. Is there a part of the story where you made a sale to the mum who wants to run 5k? So as to share the story and then the point comes after in brief? Just a suggestion.

  • Profile picture of AmyHager

    AmyHager

    • 10 months ago

    For our event at the end of the month… copy this please: Register for free using code CPLAB97 at this link here: 

    [Content Personality Lab #2] Payment

    You do no have the zoom details yet and need to do that.

    6 Comments
    • Profile picture of Sam Brabender
      Sam Brabender
      10 months ago

      link not working for me

      • Profile picture of AmyHager
        AmyHager
        10 months ago

        can you share a screenshot?

        • Profile picture of Sam Brabender
          Sam Brabender
          10 months ago

          when i click on it above , it does not go anywhere. However link given in the session works. Can yo remind me where I find the template/guide that was shown today?

          • Profile picture of AmyHager
            AmyHager
            10 months ago

            So, you have what you need to get registered?

            • Profile picture of Sam Brabender
              Sam Brabender
              10 months ago

              yes thanks

          • Profile picture of AmyHager
            AmyHager
            10 months ago

            Replay and notes will be up under the course tomorrow.

  • Profile picture of Dan Lewis

    Dan Lewis

    • 10 months ago

    Next iteration lead (conversion) magnet. Looking for feedback on messaging and appeal.

    https://www.badassity.com/s/Visual-Charisma-for-Coaches-compressed.pdf

    Here’s the download landing page. Still working long getting the form working properly. Also looking for feedback on messaging.

    https://www.badassity.com/visual-charisma

    Thanks!

    Profile Photo liked this
    9 Comments
    • Profile picture of ReeJade
      ReeJade
      10 months ago

      Hey Dan! Because your brand is BADASSITY I was expecting some big bold language in the copy that really stood out. I personally got distracted by the taps in the heading that made me wanted to click away from the lead magnet. I would remove them for your lead magnet. I would break the initial messaging up to something like this: Calling All Bad…Read More

      • Profile picture of Dan Lewis
        Dan Lewis
        10 months ago

        Thanks for your feedback, Reejade!

        • Profile picture of ReeJade
          ReeJade
          10 months ago

          of course! happy to help

    • Profile picture of RuthieSterrett
      RuthieSterrett
      10 months ago

      What if you shortened the headline from “Hello, coaches and transformational leaders.
      Are your personal brand images commanding attention, building connection, and winning you new clients?” to:

      Your coaching can transform lives.
      But are your personal brand images commanding attention and building connection to win you new clients?

      the first…Read More

      • Profile picture of Dan Lewis
        Dan Lewis
        10 months ago

        Thanks, Ruthie! Your version is much stronger.

    • Profile picture of CarrieWulf
      CarrieWulf
      10 months ago

      @danbadassity-com I like this version so much better than the first. The way you added your color to each slide gave it more visual appeal for me (I’m a visual content person). I am LOVING the way that you broke down the assessment into the colored boxes. It makes it hard to miss. ANd the Name It – Frame It- Play It- slide feels much more on brand…Read More

      • Profile picture of Dan Lewis
        Dan Lewis
        10 months ago

        Thanks, Carrie! Really helpful!

    • Profile picture of CarrieWulf
      CarrieWulf
      10 months ago

      When I click your download link it takes me to the success page

      • Profile picture of Dan Lewis
        Dan Lewis
        9 months, 4 weeks ago

        Oops! Thanks for catching! I

  • Profile picture of CarrieWulf

    CarrieWulf

    • 10 months ago

    Context: I want to personally send a message to the people who clicked the workshop link but did not register. This email is a personal email sent to them.

    Subject Line: Checking in with you

    Copy:
    Hey {!firstname_fix},

    I noticed you clicked on the link for my SOP Summer School: High-Touch Client Onboarding with Low-Touch Effort workshop…Read More

    Profile PhotoProfile Photo liked this
    2 Comments
    • Profile picture of ReeJade
      ReeJade
      10 months ago

      Hi @carriewulfdenprofessionalsolutions-com I think this email is fine. I love getting these types of emails because oftentimes I click on something and get distracted and forget about it. I’m not sure what your content personality is but if it’s video or audio i think adding a personal video answering common FAQs (this will save the time of…Read More

    • Profile picture of Jaini Shah
      Jaini Shah
      10 months ago

      I always wondered how to send these emails. Thanks for sharing, email looks good!

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