I wanted to do more bullets points but turns out like a story. It feels a bit long… anyway, here goes (seriously, it feels like a roller coaster !):

I had been working in the field for in an International Humanitarian organization for more than 10 years. I loved their values, I loved the work colleagues carry all over the world, I loved what I could contribute to. But I was not the same person as the one who joined. I was seeing myself drowning in paperwork, reports, contradictions, forever changing processes…

As my end of mission was getting closer, I remember one day, my boss was telling me a few things and I felt that deep pain inside my belly, like it was being ripped open, I saw myself screaming desperately at her face, all of the stuff I could no longer take on..
(well, I did not literally scream, I had a tiny bit of sanity remaining that told me to not actually do it !!).
That was it. I knew this had been coming (the funny thing is that when I joined, after a career change, I knew this humanitarian field would last for approximately 10 years and that I would do something related to yoga after, and that that would be for the rest of my life).
But that was it, my body telling me “this is enough, now, not in 6 months, not in 3 months. NOW”.

Whether it was yoga or something related (I had explored alternate states of consciousness, and energy work among others in the past 10 years), and regardless of what I was going to do with it, it was clear I needed training. More yoga, Qigong, Meditation, hypnosis, energy etc… Besides that, there was no plan. But there was no turning back (and that might have been the only plan!).

I returned to France for the summer, and found myself tired, really exhausted, not wanting to pack a suitcase anymore. I canceled the next yoga training I intended to do and settled in France, putting my suitcase in the attic. But then, what to do ?

Well, let’s start a business as a yoga teacher and energy healer ! After All, I had had that amazing vision of retreats I wanted to lead. So, let’s do retreats ! There, I had a plan !

As the first retreat of 5 days was approaching, I ran an ad on FB. There was no one, no participant. I realised I must have done something wrong. So I planned a second one, 6 weeks later, but 3 days instead of 5. Reality caught up, again : there was no one.

My world crashes in flames, with my dreams, and a part of me. If I cannot do this, then what do I do ? I still cannot go back to what I was doing before.

After a couple of months in a state of disintegration, I realised there must be a way. I did some research on the internet and found that it takes a good 6 months to prepare and sell a retreat – (that’s when you already have clients). Here is a first deep, sound lesson in business : you have to start at step 1; then, lesson 2 : nope, they do not come when you build it.

So, I had a business, I had lessons learned, I started a few yoga and qigong classes and then developed some small workshops. It was all going rather smoothly when Covid hit. Quickly, this is turned into an opportunity : zoom became my ally and I developed energy work which I so love doing, and which can be done at a distance. Yeah !

I had tried a few newsletters – as this is what they say in marketing ! Oh, and Instagram too! and it does not work… I do not know what to say. I am not good at it. There surely are other things I am missing. One day, one guy I am following on social media was holding a week of authentic marketing with several classes and coaches. I found out that there are a lot of people who do not like the usual marketing, or a selling way that feels annoying ! This is going to be my field of marketing. I investigated a bit and hired a business coach.

I spent one year rebuilding the foundations of my business, my website, my offers, learning how marketing can appeal to me, play with newsletters, started liking it ! I started growing an audience (with ads…). Meanwhile I ran a few one-day workshops with a friend, and loved it !

But something was still nagging me, I needed to go deeper in my own practice. So during nearly one year I went back to learning with more training. Meanwhile, I got more regular with my communication.

I did some launches… They failed. Some of my blog posts have been rather successful. Yet I have less clients than the previous year. Something must be wrong. Going through these training sessions took me to hidden parts of myself, and mystical experiences, and I have a sense that there are highs and lows, this was a year of rebuilding the foundations of my perceptions. But the question remains : what do I do with this ?

At the end of last year, I felt a very clear energy shift, something in my spiritual work was decisive in November: there is a shift in energy and now is the time to open my wings and fly!

I know that, I feel it. And I also know that I need support in this energy shift. I have found my home, will move in soon, this will be my sanctuary. I hired new coaches to work on messaging, and have a bit more of a plan. I have more clarity, more strength, great mentors. and a desire to serve and keep on learning.