Hi everyone,

I would love some commentary. I’ve tried to simplify as much as possible, but it is still running a bit longer than I would like.

Stop “Shoulding” on Yourself

Do you have a bunch of shoulds or shouldn’ts you keep telling yourself? Something you want to do differently, but haven’t managed to change so far. I should exercise, lose weight, stop smoking, get to sleep earlier, I shouldn’t procrastinate, I should be further along in my career, I shouldn’t doubt myself so much, and on & on

While your unconscious intention is always trying to take care of you;
to move you away from danger, towards pleasure and to do it as quickly & as easily as possible.
Those should(s), must(s) & have to(s), that are creating stress and anxiety are telling you that whatever you are doing or thinking is no longer serving you as well as it used to.

What can you do differently?

Here are 3 tips to help let go of some of the stress, and anxiety to help make change.
1- Change Your Language – Convert your should(s), have to(s) and must(s). Switch them up for can, will, may, would, could. The new language will often feel much lighter than the angst of the first set.

2- Small Steps – Allow yourself to take one small, even micro step at a time to change.
Most people have a lot on their plate, if the change seems like a lot of work & effort, your unconscious will often shut you down, and stick to the easy way it already knows. It wants you to have energy available for everything else you need to do. Be patient and be consistent, most change happens over time.

Recently, a client was telling me how her son had been reluctant to go to soccer practice. Now, that he is seeing his skill improve, his team is winning some of their games. He is much happier about putting in the work and giving himself time to grow.

3- Be Kind to Yourself – This is probably the most important rule. Remember your unconscious is trying to take care of you. Talk to your unconscious as a friend. Honor its intention to help you, while inviting it to start to consider new thoughts & behaviors that will honor that intention, and better serve your life. Encourage it to start making small changes, and again recognize you are human, be kind, and be patient.

If you like to learn more about how to stop “shoulding” on yourself and create new positive actions & beliefs, let’s connect & chat. Info for scheduling a Discovery chat is in the 1st comment below.