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NURTURE SEQUENCE- EMAIL 1
Would love some feedback here please, is the email too wordy? Am I direct enough as to who I’m talking to and what I believe? Note I am using this as a welcome sequence for those who join my list through my landing page/link in bio form.
Subject: FirstNAME, Nice to meet you!
Preview: [Lets Get Healthy]Hello there, FNAME!
Welcome to the wonderful world of taking care of your health so that you can have less sick days and more days of health, happiness and adventure!
I can’t wait to learn more about you, your mission, and your future goals around healthy habits and mindset and the high energy lifestyle.
But first– I’m so happy you have joined us and as a thank you I’d like to share with you the 9 Ways to Boost Your Immune System Guide. Let’s put it to good use.👉 [Click here to download your 9 Ways to Boost Your Immune System Guide.]
Oh, by the way. I’m Jaini.
And if you only know one thing about me right now, it’s this: I believe that everyone has the power of choice. This gives you the power to make healthy habits a part of your life, you can wake up feeling energised through those habits, be able to navigate your cravings and create the beliefs that serve you.
My BIG mission is to help individuals who are seeking more energy to do the things they love, want to break through any fears or mental blocks that are holding them back to take a stand for their health, master their emotions, make mindful food choices and harness the power of their mind to live their best life.
Lets create a phenomenal life,
JainiP.S. I love hearing from my email community.
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5 Comments-
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![Profile picture of Jaini Shah]()
Thanks Amy. What are bold qualifiers? Here’s a re-work of the Big Mission: “My BIG mission is to help tired individuals change their mindset and food habits so that they can wake up feeling fresh, have the energy to do all the things they love, go on adventures with ease and just feel light, energetic and happy in their body. “
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![Profile picture of Jaini Shah]()
How do you find the edited version? Also this is a third version. I really want to get this nurture sequence out this week, so any feedback would be great!
“My BIG mission is to empower individuals who feel tired, stuck, or held back by fears, mental blocks, or unhealthy habits to take a stand for their health. I want to help you wake up feeling fresh, master your emotions, make mindful food choices, and harness the power of your mind to create a life where you feel light, energetic, and truly happy—ready to do the things you love, go on adventures, and thrive in every way.”
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![Profile picture of Jennifer Jane Young]()
Hi @jaini-shah15gmail-com Here are some thoughts.
This empowering statement would have kep me reading if it were at the beginning: My BIG mission is to help individuals who are seeking more energy to do the things they love, want to break through any fears or mental blocks that are holding them back to take a stand for their health, master their emotions, make mindful food choices and harness the power of their mind to live their best life.
I’m def your ideal client AND taking care of my health is somethig I often procrastinate so I need a BIG why to get me to take action. I would be more pulled in if I recognized my pain points in the email and then saw what I am sacrificing or loosing out on if I don’t take care of those pain points.
For example, you know my story about stopping alcohol…If I would have known have frigging damaging alcohol was on me and that it was the #1 cause of most of my misery and by stopping it I would feel better times 100 I would have paid attention.
Does this help?
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![Profile picture of Jaini Shah]()
Thanks Jen! That helps. I was following the format in the Nurture Sequence training that’s why the Big Mission is where it is in the email 🙈 But totally get what you’re saying. Also need to refine the pain points and the ideal outcome.
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Jaini Shah
Food Relationship Coach, Rapid Transformational Therapist
At 30 Jaini felt like she was 60 and knew something had to change. In January 2020 she embarked on a health journey that turned everything around from having more energy, to having normal thyroid function and being happier on a day to day basis. She left her corporate law career and became a Food Relationship Coach and a Rapid Transformational Therapist to help others also rewrite their health stories. She loves to be camping in the bush if she's not coaching, being outdoors and always being curious about how we can be better than yesterday.
individuals in your BIG mission section falls flat. It seems not like you and is cold. Look at your bold qualifiers… what else can you use there?