Activity – JoelElfman – Content Personality Club

JoelElfman

• 2 years, 4 months ago

Trying to write this Turning Point/Journey piece been a tortuous piece for me. It’s still way too long, but at least it’s progress.
——-
Almost all of my life I’ve sat uneasily on an uneven 3 legged stool, wobbling back & forth between a wild imagination, physical activities and the expectations of others or society.

⁃ As a young boy, I did Modern Dance, until it didn’t seem like the thing boys should normally do
⁃ I was always voracious reader of science fiction and fantasy. I loved reading about all the different possible ways we could look at the universe. Even when my father tried multiple times to shut down my interest, in favor classical literature, I couldn’t deny the worlds of endless possibilities.
⁃ As a teen, and in 20s, 30s and beyond, I kept starting & stopping various forms of martial arts. Stepping into my body, exploring breath & movement was fascinating. Yet I consistently let work or life drag me away from what I enjoyed
⁃ It was the push and pull of thinking differently & trying to conform to society, and a father that had very specific ideas of what should be that made me a shy and nervous person until I was in my 40’s.
⁃ And then came the fateful day that I wandered into a New Age crystal shop, and found a free newspaper offering a 1/2 day class in hypnosis. I was curious but scared. Are they going to make me cluck like a chicken, sign away all my money? Would I transform, would I still be stuck?
⁃ And so nervously I took the class, and from the beginning of closing my eyes, going inside, and connecting to myself, I knew there was something here for me. I could create as many new worlds for myself and for others as I read on a printed page.
⁃ Hypnosis has been a beautiful gift to me, helping me become more confident and relaxed, and allowed me to help an amazing array of people. It lead me to body & energy work, back to martial arts & Eastern practices.
⁃ Even with all these skills some of that old wobbling persisted. I did brilliant work as a massage therapist, but couldn’t figure out how to articulate what I was doing. Eastern practices, Tai Chi, QiGong, etc. were separate from the rest of what I did.
⁃ It’s only in the last year or two, after seeing clients and working on myself for so long, that I’ve come embrace and hone the wisdom and power of the mind-body connection, and bring it fully into my practice. The body is as much a part of our unconscious as our mind. The body always speaks the truth to us, and it gives us simple, natural, elegant tools to help us, even when we are inarticulate, caught up in overthinking or overwhelm. And in the union of mind & body, we are uniquely ourselves, regardless of what anyone else might think or say.

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12 Comments
- Amy Flo-Yo
  2 years, 4 months ago
  
  OK – what is the call to action here?
- Amy Flo-Yo
  2 years, 4 months ago
  
  I think it is brilliant, flows wonderfully. A few small take outs to tighten in up.. and off it goes:
  
  DANG IT – the friggin strike throughs won’t show up in here. SO here it is with stuff just deleted:
  
  Almost all of my life I’ve sat uneasily on an uneven 3 legged stool, wobbling back & forth between a wild imagination, physical activities and the expectations of others or society.
  
  ⁃ As a young boy, I did Modern Dance, until it didn’t seem like the thing boys should normally do
  
  ⁃ I was always voracious reader of science fiction and fantasy. Even when my father tried multiple times to shut down my interest, in favor classical literature, I couldn’t deny the worlds of endless possibilities.
  
  ⁃ As a teen, and in 20s, 30s and beyond, I kept starting & stopping various forms of martial arts. Stepping into my body, exploring breath & movement was fascinating. Yet I consistently let work or life drag me away
  
  ⁃ It was the push and pull of thinking differently & trying to conform to society, and a father that had very specific ideas of what should be that made me a shy and nervous person until I was in my 40’s.
  
  ⁃ And then came the fateful day that I wandered into a New Age crystal shop, and found a free newspaper offering a 1/2 day class in hypnosis. I was curious but scared. Would I transform, would I still be stuck?
  
  ⁃ From the beginning of closing my eyes, going inside, and connecting to myself, I knew there was something here for me.
  
  ⁃ Hypnosis has been a beautiful gift to me, helping me become more confident and relaxed, and allowed me to help an amazing array of people. It led me to body & energy work, back to martial arts & Eastern practices.
  
  ⁃ In my now years of practice I have finally come embrace and hone the wisdom and power of the mind-body connection, and bring it fully into my practice.
  
  The body is as much a part of our unconscious as our mind. The body always speaks the truth to us, and it gives us simple, natural, elegant tools to help us, even when we are inarticulate, caught up in overthinking or overwhelm. And in the union of mind & body, we are uniquely ourselves, regardless of what anyone else might think or say.
  - JoelElfman
    2 years, 4 months ago
    
    Thanks @Amy Flo-Yo for the comments & for the CTA reminder. I got so caught up in the writing, I forgot.
    
    CTA – If you are interested in connecting mind & body, being that better, more natural version of yourself, then reach out and schedule a discovery chat. If you can imagine a happier, more confident you, getting more done, easily & effortlessly, and feeling better about life then we should talk.
    - Amy Flo-Yo
      2 years, 4 months ago
      
      LOL – still too many words 😉 As a past grant writer I know all about more words to fill word count and fluff…BUT this type of stuff needs to be “easy” to process. That first sentence is clunky. just use this: If you can imagine a happier, more confident you, getting more done, easily & effortlessly, and feeling better about life then we should talk. Book here (Embedded link). I LOVE the positive vision of this CTA
      
      JoelElfman
      2 years, 4 months ago
      
      Thanks again, Amy, I knew it was clunky, thanks for your suggestions.
- Annette Presley
  2 years, 4 months ago
  
  I tightened it a little, so here’s my version:
  
  For most of my life I’ve sat uneasily on a 3 legged stool, wobbling back & forth between a wild imagination, physical activities, and the expectations of others or society.
  
  ⁃ As a young boy, I did Modern Dance, until it didn’t seem like the thing a boy should be doing.
  
  ⁃ I was a voracious reader of science fiction and fantasy. Even when my father tried to push classical literature on me, I couldn’t deny the worlds of endless possibilities.
  
  ⁃ Since my teenage years, I’ve dabbled in various forms of martial arts, enjoying the breath and movement, yet I consistently let work or life drag me away from what I enjoyed.
  
  ⁃ It was the push and pull of thinking differently & trying to conform to society, and a father that had very specific ideas of what should be that made me a shy and nervous person.
  
  ⁃ One day I wandered into a New Age crystal shop and found a newspaper ad offering a 1/2 day class in hypnosis. I was curious, but a bit nervous. Would they make me cluck like a chicken or sign away all my money? Would I transform or would I still be stuck trying to be who I am in a world I didn’t fit in?
  
  ⁃ I took a deep breath and signed up for the class. From the beginning of closing my eyes, going inside, and connecting to myself, I knew there was something here for me. I could create as many new worlds for myself and for others as I read on a printed page.
  
  ⁃ Hypnosis has given me more confidence, made me feel more relaxed, and has allowed me to help an amazing array of people. It lead me back to martial arts and Eastern practices where I learned to incorporate body and energy work.
  
  ⁃ I found that combining hypnosis with body and energy work got me and my clients better results much faster. The body is as much a part of our unconscious as our mind and it always speaks the truth to us. In the union of mind and body, we are uniquely ourselves and we get to create a place in the world where we belong.
  
  If you are ready to embrace your unique self and start living the life you dream of, …
  - JoelElfman
    2 years, 4 months ago
    
    Thanks Annette, wonderful edit. You & Amy Flo-Yo are awesome.
    - JoelElfman
      2 years, 4 months ago
      
      Many thanks to @Amy Flo-Yo & @Annette Presley for their wonderful edits. I blended parts of both for the rewrite. I also added a new paragraph to start, because I thought it fit the theme really well. I also included an alternative flip at the bottom of the 1st paragraph, just in case folks thought that might be better.
      =================
      
      When people ask about my origin story, I share how for most of my life I’ve sat uneasily on a 3-legged stool, wobbling back & forth between a wild imagination, physical activities, and the expectations of others or society.
      
      -And in truth, the struggle began before I was born, for I am a fraternal twin, the 2nd egg that arrived fashionably late to the womb party. While mind & body claimed their place, my heartbeat was so faint, that the doctors never told my parents they were having twins.
      
      ⁃ As a young boy, the challenge continued, I did Modern Dance, until it didn’t seem like the thing boys should normally do. Since my teenage years, I’ve dabbled in various forms of martial arts, enjoying the breath and movement, yet I consistently let work or life drag me away from what I enjoyed.
      
      ⁃ I was a voracious reader of science fiction and fantasy. Even when my father tried to push classical literature on me, I couldn’t deny the world of endless possibilities.
      
      ⁃ The consistent push and pull of thinking differently & trying to conform to society, and a father that had very specific ideas of what should be kept me a shy and nervous person most of my life.
      
      ⁃ And then came the fateful day that I wandered into a New Age crystal shop, and found a free newspaper offering a 1/2 day class in hypnosis. I was curious but scared. Would they make me cluck like a chicken or sign away all my money? Would I transform, would I still be stuck?
      
      ⁃ From the beginning of closing my eyes, going inside, and connecting to myself, I knew there was something here for me. I could create as many new worlds for myself and for others as I read on a printed page.
      
      ⁃ Hypnosis has given me more confidence, made me feel more relaxed, and has allowed me to help an amazing array of people.
      
      ⁃ Hypnosis has been a beautiful gift to me, helping me become more confident and relaxed, and allowing me to help an amazing array of people. It led me back to martial arts and Eastern practices where I learned to incorporate body and energy work.
      
      The body is as much a part of our unconscious as our mind. The body always speaks the truth to us, and it gives us simple, natural, elegant tools to help us, even when we are inarticulate, caught up in overthinking, or overwhelmed. And in the union of mind & body, we are uniquely ourselves
      
      ⁃ I found that combining hypnosis with body and energy work got me and my clients better results much faster. The body is as much a part of our unconscious as our mind and it always speaks the truth to us. In the union of mind and body, we are uniquely ourselves. We get to create a place in the world where we belong, regardless of what anyone else might think or say.
      
      If you are ready to embrace a happier, more confident you, getting more done, easily & effortlessly, and feeling better about life then we should talk. Book your discovery chat here, http://www.calendly.com/bodymind-hypnotic-30
      ==========================================
      -Alternative Start –
      When people ask about my origin story, I share how my struggle began before I was born, for I am a fraternal twin, the 2nd egg that arrived fashionably late to the womb party. While mind & body claimed their place, my heartbeat was so faint, that the doctors never told my parents they were having twins.
      
      – For most of my life I’ve sat uneasily on a 3-legged stool, wobbling back & forth between a wild imagination, physical activities, and the expectations of others or society.
      
      Annette Presley
      2 years, 4 months ago
      
      I like the beginning. There is some duplication. I don’t think you need both of these paragraphs:
      
      Hypnosis has given me more confidence, made me feel more relaxed, and has allowed me to help an amazing array of people.
      
      ⁃ Hypnosis has been a beautiful gift to me, helping me become more confident and relaxed, and allowing me to help an amazing array of people. It led me back to martial arts and Eastern practices where I learned to incorporate body and energy work.
      
      Overwhelmed should be overwhelm.
      
      And I’m back in class so I’ll come back.
      
      JoelElfman
      2 years, 4 months ago
      
      @Annette Presely Thank you for catching the duplication & grammar. I will edit accordingly.
      
      Annette Presley
      2 years, 4 months ago
      
      I would use but in truth instead of and in truth with the second paragraph. And there is redundancy in these two paragraphs.
      
      The body is as much a part of our unconscious as our mind. The body always speaks the truth to us, and it gives us simple, natural, elegant tools to help us, even when we are inarticulate, caught up in overthinking, or overwhelmed. And in the union of mind & body, we are uniquely ourselves
      
      ⁃ I found that combining hypnosis with body and energy work got me and my clients better results much faster. The body is as much a part of our unconscious as our mind and it always speaks the truth to us. In the union of mind and body, we are uniquely ourselves. We get to create a place in the world where we belong, regardless of what anyone else might think or say.
      
      I think if you just say things once it will be more concise and flow better.
- JoelElfman
  2 years, 4 months ago
  
  Posted on FB, LinkedIn, & is the new About page for my website