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    JoelElfman

    a year ago

    Revised 01 (parts in Square Brackets [] are for the video & won’t be in the text version) Stop “Shoulding” on Yourself

    Do you have a bunch of shoulds or shouldn’ts you keep telling yourself? Something you want to do differently, but haven’t managed to change so far.
    – I should exercise, I should lose weight, I should stop smoking, I should be further along in my career
    – I shouldn’t stay up so late, I shouldn’t procrastinate, I shouldn’t doubt myself so much
    and on & on

    Your unconscious intention is always trying to take care of you.

    Those should(s), must(s) & have to(s), that are creating stress and anxiety for you are telling you there is a gap between Intention & Action.

    What can we do differently?

    Here are 3 tips to help you started.
    1- Change Your Language – Switch to I can, I will, I may, I would, I could. With this new language you will feel much lighter.

    2- Small Steps – Allow yourself to make your change one small step, one micro step at a time.
    [Most people have a lot on their plate, if the change seems like a lot of work & effort, your unconscious will often shut you down, and stick to the easy way it already knows. It wants you to have energy available for everything else you need to do.]

    Be patient and be consistent, most change happens over time.

    [Recently, a client was telling me how her son had been reluctant to go to soccer practice. Now, that he is seeing his skill improve, his team is winning some of their games. He is much happier about putting in the work and giving himself time to grow.]

    3- Be Kind to Yourself – This is probably the most important rule. Remember your unconscious is trying to take care of you. Talk to your unconscious as a friend. Honor its intention to help you, while inviting it to start to consider new thoughts & behaviors that will honor that intention, and better serve your life. [Encourage it to start making small changes, and again recognize you are human, be kind, and be patient.]

    If you like to learn more about how to stop “shoulding” on yourself and create new positive actions & beliefs, let’s connect & chat. Info for scheduling a Discovery chat is in the 1st comment below.

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