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Hi everyone! Sorry for being a bit quiet for the last few weeks, its been a travel month! Watched the October Replay and here is my first draft of a debunking BS email. Is it clear on what the BS? And do you feel I am bringing out my expertise enough?
Subject line: Work out so you can Eat
Preview: That’s a LIE!Hi NAME,
Did you know that…Read More
4 Comments-
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![Profile picture of Jaini Shah]()
Thanks @kathymthoodphotography-com for the comment! Let me re-look at how the email reads and whether I can tie the first part to the last part. This might mean I get 2 emails coming from this now 🙂
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![Profile picture of AmyHager]()
You opening line is great!!!
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![Profile picture of Jaini Shah]()
Thanks!
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Hi Guys! So I’m finally getting back to working on my lead conversion tool since the Workshop a few months ago. And this was spurred on because I am watching the May course on the lead magnet nurture sequence. I would love your eyes on this draft document. What do you understand from this checklist, what do you think it’s trying to do? Is it…Read More
4 Comments-
![Profile picture of AmyHager]()
This is an energy assessment, not really a checklist. Calling it a checklist will leave people confused.
I think after the 5 questions, you need to state “keep reading to get your rating” You also need to give instruction that you need to add up your numbers after the last questions.-
![Profile picture of Jaini Shah]()
Thanks Amy! I will update this.
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![Profile picture of Sam Brabender]()
I liked the way you did the myths in between the questions and the results …it kept my interest. Lots of info but I loved it. I am sure many will find this info really interesting.
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![Profile picture of Jaini Shah]()
Thank you Sam for the feedback!
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Two draft emails from the Session on Wednesday. Would love your comments if the want sounds capturing and the problem and why it persists makes sense.
Email 1
Subject: Waking up Feeling Tired?
Preview: Lets chat.If you are not waking up feeling fresh and energetic it may be because you’re eating something that’s draining your energy.…Read More
4 Comments-
![Profile picture of Lisa Johns]()
These look great to me
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![Profile picture of Jaini Shah]()
Thanks!
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![Profile picture of Blair Hope]()
Both emails sound great! Clear problem and reasons.
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![Profile picture of AmyHager]()
I see what you want to do here… but I don’t think anyone calls themselves “Tired One”
Change: If you’re ready to go from the Tired One to the Energised Human, then it’s time to schedule a Discovery Call with me.
to: If you’re ready to go from being tired all the time and feeling like you need coffee or sugar to a more naturally Energized Human…Read More
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Email Number 4- Does this email speak to those looking to change their health and is it clear that if they sign up for the Masterclass they will have the answers to better health? @amymshannonhernandez-com @clientsmshannonhernandez-com
Subject Line: Do Holidays mean Overeating?
Preview: Is it possible to enjoy a holiday where it isn’t all…Read More![Profile Photo]()
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3 Comments-
![Profile picture of KathyTarbell]()
I think that it is somewhat clear on what the masterclass covers. You might consider taking out the second to last paragraph ( Are you clear….) Clear is used quite a bit at the end of the email you may want to use some other words.
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![Profile picture of Jaini Shah]()
Thank you! Good point, clear is there a lot, I’ll edit that part 🙂
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![Profile picture of Shannon]()
Hi @jaini-shah15gmail-com – love this take on holidays and over eating. Can you include in the last paragraph a bulleted list of the 3 takeaways from the workshop?
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Email Number 3- if you read this email, would you want to know more about what food to eat and avoid? Hoping to get some discovery calls booked! @amymshannonhernandez-com @clientsmshannonhernandez-com
Subject Line: Does it rot?
Preview: How do you know if food is real?Hook Line: Something weird happened, I bought a croissant and decided…Read More
![Profile Photo]()
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2 Comments-
![Profile picture of AmyHager]()
Don’t add fluff to the hook line
Hook Line: Something weird happened, I bought a croissant and decided not to eat it, and then A YEAR LATER- the croissant is still here 😷😷Get straight to it: I bought a croissant and decided not to eat it, and then A YEAR LATER- the croissant is still here
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![Profile picture of Shannon]()
agreed! less words = more clarity (in cases like this)
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Jaini Shah
Food Relationship Coach, Rapid Transformational Therapist
At 30 Jaini felt like she was 60 and knew something had to change. In January 2020 she embarked on a health journey that turned everything around from having more energy, to having normal thyroid function and being happier on a day to day basis. She left her corporate law career and became a Food Relationship Coach and a Rapid Transformational Therapist to help others also rewrite their health stories. She loves to be camping in the bush if she's not coaching, being outdoors and always being curious about how we can be better than yesterday.
The connection of working out so that you can eat whatever you want gets kinda lost as your story is about changing your eating to heal yourself. Do you have a story that focus’s more on exercise versus diet verses whole foods?