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HI All- I am so excited to be a part of the group. I found that peer reviews, suggestions and input can be priceless.
Here is what I have come up with after listening to last weeks lesson and being a part of today’s.Please comment on my email tag line is it compelling you to open the email?
Does the story resonate and have impact?
Is my…Read More![]()
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![Profile picture of KathyTarbell]()
thanks!
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![Profile picture of AmyHager]()
Can you tie this back to the story? These questions are all very vague (but I do want to say… a good start) I know you can bring this together.
What would you want your photo shoot to include? Is there a theme you like? An outfit that is the bomb? A fantasy look that you want to explore? Reply to this email and share with me. I love to hear and…Read More-
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Thank you! Will work on it some more 🙂
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![Profile picture of Blair Hope]()
Your subject line would get me to open your email!
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![Profile picture of KathyTarbell]()
Thanks!
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Hi all – new to the group and excited to be here. I am a bookkeeper who loves to educate clients on what they can learn from their numbers to help grow their businesses.
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Would love feedback on this email I wrote after our session today!
Subject: It’s not about the stuff
Preview: What I’ve learned as a self taught marketer (a series)Hey NAME,
Several years ago, as a new mom learning to juggle a new career and a 1 year old, I found out my job was being eliminated. One of the biggest stressors in lif…Read More
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I like this… but one tiny change. You need to talk emotion… not brain. Change this line: I landed a job in corporate retail for a running company, but immediately knew I didn’t fit in.
I landed a job in corporate retail for a running company, but immediately felt that I didn’t fit in.
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![Profile picture of Jaini Shah]()
Nice one! Like Amy mentioned, more emotion would be great. Is there a part of the story where you made a sale to the mum who wants to run 5k? So as to share the story and then the point comes after in brief? Just a suggestion.
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Jaini Shah
Food Relationship Coach, Rapid Transformational Therapist
At 30 Jaini felt like she was 60 and knew something had to change. In January 2020 she embarked on a health journey that turned everything around from having more energy, to having normal thyroid function and being happier on a day to day basis. She left her corporate law career and became a Food Relationship Coach and a Rapid Transformational Therapist to help others also rewrite their health stories. She loves to be camping in the bush if she's not coaching, being outdoors and always being curious about how we can be better than yesterday.
Really like the subject line, often we shy away from pain. And the story is wonderful. The line that the photo shoot was her reset point really resonated with me. For the first line of the email, perhaps look at how to make the first sentence more about the emotion than the fact that you had a meeting. Shooting in the dark but something like I was…Read More