I think you did a good job of fleshing this out just a bit to make the thread from your story to theirs be easy to follow. My only suggestion is that you use the word polished twice close together, and I suggest finding a synonym for one of them.

I think you did a good job here and it flows well. I am not sure of the word bespoke as it’s not a common word, but maybe it is in your area of expertise. I would just make sure it’s a word your audience would relate to.

Nice one Kim!! A great read and a nice flow.

For me I feel like maybe there’s a bit of repetition here: in “By day, I was an attorney (and later a nonprofit executive). The suit, the heels, and the polished words …” and the third paragraph “At work, I was the polished professional, constantly proving myself …” Maybe consider putting them…Read More

Thanks @fancyfamilyphotokeeper-com @annettepresleyhotmail-com and @jaini-shah15gmail-com – I’ve taken all of those notes into consideration and have updated my copy. It will be going out on Tuesday as part of the launch for my new program. I appreciate your help!

I like that you put the ‘woo” into it 🙂 other comments I would make have already been said above. This is a fantastic email.