The story starts very compelling. I would add some stronger adjectives in the second part ( It was a phenomenal success). I also would simplify the CTA. Only give them one option. I love the emojis.

I feel like you are missing something…. are you your ideal weight now? did you find that something you were looking for in the last round of experimentation?

Stephanie,
once again, nice job, I think you are pretty much on-target.I would open a little different, edit a few other places, and add a little more detail to give people a stronger feeling about what your struggles.

My journey to learning how to lose weight joyfully began n 2013. I was at my heaviest weight ever, and officially obese.

When I…Read More

Some different ideas for some of the sentences:

It took me 6 whole years to lose just 40 lbs.
I lost 40 lbs in only 4 months! I was so excited and on top of that I managed to keep the weight off for an entire year.

But then I gained back 12 lbs. What I was doing to lose weight wasn’t helping me keep the weight off. I needed to try something…Read More

Love the version you published

Had a consult call yesterday – first time I have spoken with someone where I said right up front that my single session is no longer for sale… that the longer program is needed to get results! I used my bold qualifiers to describe the people who achieve the best results from working with me. He and his wife took lots of notes and were…Read More

Thanks! I mixed the “before vs after” program exercise, with the Bold Qualifiers…

The people who get the best results:
Before (bold qualifiers)
Over 70k annual household income, but maybe aside from some 401k funds, not really building wealth
Find budgeting frustrating, useless, or both.
Make monthly debt payments besides a mortgage.
Give no…Read More