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Any feed back would be great- is it compelling? CTA in line with the content? More or Less “story”?
Email # 2
Subject line: She stood in the storm
And when the wind did not blow her away she adjusted her sailsGosh let me tell you when I picked up a camera again after not touching one for 20 years was it different! No film, lots of adjustment options, auto focus, well really auto everything if you wanted. I was in transition from doing jobs that worked to pay the bills and around my family schedule to exploring who and what I wanted to do and be.
Art, creativity, passion, service, nature, adventures-these were words that kept filling my brain.
So I grabbed that new DSLR took a few classes, uploaded editing software and made a leap. A leap into a new career path. Little did I realize that the leap would lead me to becoming a Body Image Activist. That the camera would be a cornerstone of the work I do.Work that revolves around, empowering, uplifting, encouraging, getting curious, learning and showing each and every woman that “You are the definition of Beauty”.
Did you know that we explore all these things and more during the retreats I facilitate? We also stay in a gorgeous setting, have amazing food, and you can have a massage or body treatment. And experience your own uplifting photo shoot.
Want to join in? I would love to have you. Book a call Today so we can get your spot reserved.
With Love, Sparkles and dancing,
Kathy5 Comments-
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![Profile picture of KathyTarbell]()
Thank you!
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![Profile picture of Shannon]()
@annettepresleyhotmail-com great job on the input around making the opening lines – which I LOVE – match the offer, which is the retreat. @kathymthoodphotography-com there seems to be a diconnect here. Maybe a tie in to how a retreat can help you expand your sails? reset after internal storms?
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![Profile picture of KathyTarbell]()
Thank you ladies! I will work on it some more 🙂
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![Profile picture of Dan Lewis]()
I agree it feels kind of disjointed. You have the sentence, “Work that revolves around, empowering, uplifting, encouraging, getting curious, learning and showing each and every woman that “You are the definition of Beauty”.” Perhaps focusing on one of these things could provide a theme that ties the story to the call to action?
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You have a lot of beautiful pieces in here, but it feels disjointed and the CTA came as a bit of a shock. I just didn’t see it heading there.
If a retreat is what you are offering, I would use the “she stood in the storm” story for something else and create a story around “you are the definition of beauty.” What does that mean and look like and how do you get there? Make us want to have that experience.