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HI All- Here is my second BS email. I am trying to get a nice bank of them. Is the BS a strong enough? and my reply coherent?
**Photographers promise to edit your pictures so that you look like a supermodelDo you want your pictures to look like you or Cindy Crawford? Cindy is one of a kind and looks like Cindy. I believe that you deserve to…Read More
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Here is my first try at BS debunking- As always my first question does it make sense? To much, not enough???
Subject line-Pics have to be sexy
Hello….,
You don’t need to know how to look sexy. Practice your smile or pouty face and be flawless. I believe that everyone has different ideas of what sexy is and I want you to be c…Read More -
Next draft- Any and all feedback is SO helpfull before I release it into the world 🙂
Hello ,
I am committed to helping you be more body positive by encouraging and providing education around loving yourself fully and unconditionally so that you can focus on living your life to the fullest.Have you ever been excited to go out with friends,…Read More
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This my 1st draft from Wednesday’s session. Does it flow and make sense? To wordy? Compelling? Thanks 🙂
Email Subject line-focusing on your body all night?
Hello ,
I am committed to helping you be more body positive by encouraging and providing education around loving yourself fully and unconditionally so that you can focus on living your…Read More2 Comments -
Any feed back would be great- is it compelling? CTA in line with the content? More or Less “story”?
Email # 2
Subject line: She stood in the storm
And when the wind did not blow her away she adjusted her sailsGosh let me tell you when I picked up a camera again after not touching one for 20 years was it different! No film, lots of…Read More
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You have a lot of beautiful pieces in here, but it feels disjointed and the CTA came as a bit of a shock. I just didn’t see it heading there.
If a retreat is what you are offering, I would use the “she stood in the storm” story for something else and create a story around “you are the definition of beauty.” What does that mean and look like and…Read More
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@annettepresleyhotmail-com great job on the input around making the opening lines – which I LOVE – match the offer, which is the retreat. @kathymthoodphotography-com there seems to be a diconnect here. Maybe a tie in to how a retreat can help you expand your sails? reset after internal storms?
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I agree it feels kind of disjointed. You have the sentence, “Work that revolves around, empowering, uplifting, encouraging, getting curious, learning and showing each and every woman that “You are the definition of Beauty”.” Perhaps focusing on one of these things could provide a theme that ties the story to the call to action?
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First line… you don’t need to know how to look sexy… for what. or why.
remove: Practice your smile or pouty face and be flawless.