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DIRECT OFFER EMAIL – Draft 1
Used the magic word, “repeatable”!
Comments invited!Hello ,
Do you want to build more influence at work so that you can reach your goals?
If so, I would like to work with you in my PILOT Leadership Program designed for Asian women. This group program delivers the same system that has transformed many clients’ lives when they coach privately with me. I have three spots open for September.
You would be a great fit if:
• You have professional goals that you have great desire and ambition to achieve
• You can name one issue that sabotages your progress because of your Asian background
• You want to speak your voice and build your influence at work
• You are willing to learn and take action that will create a big positive impact in your lifeDuring our work together, we will:
• Strengthen your ability to influence your situation and others, by improving your leader’s mindset, confidence, and interpersonal skills
• Learn how to transcend the external and internal barriers that keep you from achieving your goals, by disabling your saboteur
• Practice your new leadership skills in a safe space, so you can take confident, repeatable action in difficult moments at workBecause this is a PILOT, you will enjoy special benefits:
– Work in a small, intimate group of Asian women like you
– Get greater access to my coaching support both private and group
– Get extra bonuses like valuable self-assessments
– Give feedback to create an exceptional program for Asian womenSound good?
Let’s book a quick zoom chat to get the conversation started!
Choose your time zone: calendly.com/nancy-chen-power-to-the-queenPower to The Queen!
Nancy Chen
LI Profile and Vlogs https://www.linkedin.com/in/nancychen1/
Website – powertothequeen.com4 Comments-
![Profile picture of AmyHager]()
I would remove the word PILOT. You know what you are doing and you can help these women. Adding Pilot makes this seem like it isn’t real. Like you are experimenting and not the leader you really are.
The special benefits – like bonus coaching – is something that you can gift people once they are in. The feedback will happen because you build great relationships.
“Work in a small, intimate group of Asian women like you” can be moved up to the During Our Work together.-
![Profile picture of NancyChen]()
Thanks for your feedback, Amy – it’s making more sense to me now.
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![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
Nice work Nancy.
CAN BEING ASIAN SABOTAGE YOUR CAREER? (Not crazy about this title. Is this about their DNA, their cultural beliefs or others beliefs about Asians. Which one or ones are you addressing)
I would make sure you hammer home, Who this is for, Asian woman, and Why, cultural heritage. Make sure they feel this is tailored to them, and will especially address their unique issues. Some of the language in here is great, but still could be tailored more towards this special audience.
I agree w/ Amy take out the PILOT.
I would somehow flip the order, and move “your Asian background” towards the front of the sentence. “You can name at least one issue where your Asian background sabotages your progress”
“Speak your voice” is that voice work or speaking from their core?
I would consider adding to transcend “…transcend the external and internal barriers, cultural & others…”
Forgot the title: CAN BEING ASIAN SABOTAGE YOUR CAREER?