“And yet I love….” is distracting to me as a reader because it makes me do a 180 degree turn.
Instead, why not stay and drill down your point, “The truth is…. What’s really happening during hypnosis is….imagination, different version, playing hooky from customary behaviors, superpower…” (lovely stuff). I appreciate the stage = it’s…Read More

JoelElfman, I love your example of the work you do with your clients compared to the entertainment show you see on a stage.

I enjoyed your take on what’s real/illusion as I’d expect that’s the general hangup for people. I absolutely get your love for what you do…I think perhaps add a bit more on that counter side so it’s not about trying to sound convincing – but why the misunderstandings really peeve you off. Again, well written, but I’m not feeling the…I guess…Read More

Love it! The Lara Croft bit was the part that “really took me there.” It painted a picture in my mind, and it will be the part that will resonate with me throughout the day. 🙂

The opening hook, isn’t grabbing me. Go bolder, “A travel advisor who says they can book anything, might as well point you at Expedia”, or just try a different headline. “Is your travel advisor, a generalist or a specialist”. That gets me curious about what a specialist is. A good travel advisor is what? going to save you time, money, &/or create…Read More

Great outline Amy! I’m thinking a bolder intro – perhaps something like – has your travel advisor ever even traveled? And maybe a bit more detail about how the average person is being misled when making travel arrangements. You clearly make it a more personal/connection – taking the time to get to know them, and I’m sure not many actually do that.…Read More

Great job, Amy!! Love your stance, and great other feedback. I immediately thought about drumming up an image of the “magic” of travel as an opening statement…. What makes travel magical? As a travel agent, you have a finger on that pulse, I really don’t, but when I’ve booked with an agent vs on my own, I’ve found my travel to be richer. My…Read More

Well I totally agree with your hook statement —

Jessica I’ll read the rest later, but like Amy says, YOUR HOOK ROOOOOCCCCCKKKKKKSSSSSS!!!!!!

Hi Jessica, do you have a specific client example that you can include to illustrate/show proof? Would love to see it! Or if using your general example of public speaking, I was wondering, “How?” … would hypnosis help me move past it whereas talk therapy doesn’t?

Hi Jessica, lots of good stuff in here. If you don’t want to take on all the therapists you know, consider qualifying your statement “Talk therapy often SUCKS at solving your problems.”
-you could make it about you. “Talk therapy sucked at solving my problems”.
-Or a mixed alternative might be “Talk therapy sucked at solving my problems. How about…Read More

Jumping right into Shift Hypnosis feels a bit like a sales pitch. I might give the benefits, and then name it later.

Here is a thought that may be a bit controversial. In terms of naming things, used to be some people advocate against words that sound similar to a negative word. “Discuss” for some can sound similar to “disgust”, “shift” has some potential for risk in this arena. How much of an issue this truly is, Maybe it’s nothing. I have no idea. I would be…Read More

Whoa! I felt that intro – a nice gut punch and I like it. Very well written, I’m clear on your stance though I’d love more clarity (or more detail) around your method – or more about the shift process of a client’s experience. You come out with a knock out and then it gets soft around the area that lets me know why I shouldn’t bother with talk…Read More

The latter part, talking about what you do is good, but for me, perhaps too generic. I’m not sure, fully how to describe what I’m looking for. So, please forgive me, I’m going to write my version of what I would say, and hopefully, that will spark some ideas.
“Don’t worry, there is an answer.
The way to break free is to put your brain where y…Read More