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    DonnaDube

    2 years, 2 months ago

    Would love any and all feedback on my direct offer post that would go into an email:

    Hi ***,

    Did you know that data driven businesses are 23 times more likely to acquire new customers and 19 times more likely to be profitable? Those are some staggering statistics folks, whether you love numbers or hate them. The evidence is clear that looking at data and taking action should be an important part of your business strategy.

    Are you ready to dump uncertain guesswork and start making profitable decisions in your business?

    If so, I would love to introduce you to my VIP Dynamic Data Intensive.

    You would be a great fit if:
    **You are a service based business owner who has already experienced some financial success in your business ($200k and upwards)
    **You want to know where the inefficiencies in your business are so you can stop leaving money on the table.
    **You feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed at the thought of looking “at your numbers”
    **You are open to taking action based on the valuable insights data will provide

    During our work together you will:
    **Develop which key metrics or KPIs you need to track to reach and potentially exceed your business goals
    **Own an easy-to-read, visually appealing custom dashboard that automatically updates to help you quickly see the health and wealth of your business
    **Confidently be able to make profitable decisions in your business going forward based on the insights the data shows

    Book a call with me and let’s make data way less dull and your business way more profitable!

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    11 Comments
    • I think it sounds great!

    • Yes this is so good!!

    • Hi Donna, this is reading tight and strong; good work, Any ideas for a grabby TITLE?

      • Thanks Nancy. For a title I was thinking “It’s time for profitable decision making in your business”

        • 😀Donna, I think that the arguments that you make so strongly to follow are too compelling, and almost demand, a hookier title. Let yourself get passionate about your topic, which you clearly are, and see what comes out :-D! ?How to make your numbers your best friend vs. your worst enemy? Stop sweeping the financial truth of your business under the rug? etc…. have some fun with it; you seem to really know your stuff. When I get to $200K, I may have to call you.

          • Nancy, thanks for your kind words.. love your suggestions.. I will have some fun with it and see what I can come up with. Titles are obviously not my strong point! On a side note, I would be happy to chat with you further if you wish, no need to wait till you hit $200K!

    • Donna, really good.
      I would consider flipping “Are you ready to dump uncertain guesswork and start making profitable decisions in your business?, to “Are you ready to start making profitable decisions in your business, and dump uncertain guesswork?
      And I would also consider, again switching the CTA around, “Book a call with me and let’s make data way less dull and your business way more profitable!” to “Book a call w/ me & let’s make your business way more profitable, and your numbers easier to follow and much more understandable/relatable/???. I don’t think dull is the issue. (Confusing, boring, frustrating maybe, but dull doesn’t seem to me to be the main issue for a business owner to want to be profitable, although I could be wrong.

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