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I’m trying to get better at coming to this community, I’ll work on it! I would love some feedback on my story, I’m not sure how the tension and relief flows, how compelling it is, or if the CTA is too complicated. This is my 2nd draft after Tanya helped me rework a few things. Thanks!
The year was 2013 and I was at my heaviest weight ever, and…Read More
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5 Comments-
![Profile picture of AmyHager]()
I feel like you are missing something…. are you your ideal weight now? did you find that something you were looking for in the last round of experimentation?
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![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
Stephanie,
once again, nice job, I think you are pretty much on-target.I would open a little different, edit a few other places, and add a little more detail to give people a stronger feeling about what your struggles.My journey to learning how to lose weight joyfully began n 2013. I was at my heaviest weight ever, and officially obese.
When I…Read More
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![Profile picture of Annette Presley]()
Some different ideas for some of the sentences:
It took me 6 whole years to lose just 40 lbs.
I lost 40 lbs in only 4 months! I was so excited and on top of that I managed to keep the weight off for an entire year.But then I gained back 12 lbs. What I was doing to lose weight wasn’t helping me keep the weight off. I needed to try something…Read More
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![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
Love the version you published
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The story starts very compelling. I would add some stronger adjectives in the second part ( It was a phenomenal success). I also would simplify the CTA. Only give them one option. I love the emojis.