The story starts very compelling. I would add some stronger adjectives in the second part ( It was a phenomenal success). I also would simplify the CTA. Only give them one option. I love the emojis.

I feel like you are missing something…. are you your ideal weight now? did you find that something you were looking for in the last round of experimentation?

Stephanie,
once again, nice job, I think you are pretty much on-target.I would open a little different, edit a few other places, and add a little more detail to give people a stronger feeling about what your struggles.

My journey to learning how to lose weight joyfully began n 2013. I was at my heaviest weight ever, and officially obese.

When I finally realized I needed and wanted to lose weight, it was hit 🎯 or miss ╳. (Was there a triggering event?) Though I did lose 40 lbs, it took me 6 years to achieve, as I was not really putting much effort into it. I didn’t know much about my 🚶🏻‍♀️ body, like how digestion, hormones, or metabolism function, or even how my brain 🧠 works. (Not sure if most of this last sentence is needed here or if it creates confusion w/ the next sentence or two)

🌞 One day in late 2019, (again is there a triggering thought or event?)I had a sudden realization that it was more about mindset and nutrition 🍟 than anything else, and I was lost when it came to those concepts. I knew I needed help. I made the scary decision to invest in myself and learn what I needed to know about mindset, nutrition, and how to lose weight. 🥗

It was such a success, as I lost another 40 lbs in just 4 months! I was so excited when I reached 𝟏 year of maintaining the weight loss, too! However, a little over a year from reaching my goal, I gained 12 lbs back 📈 . I realized what I had learned to do was great for losing weight, but wasn’t sustainable forever. Something needed to change; I needed to try something new.

After some experimentation, (it needs just a little more detail – exploring some new mindsets & beliefs, creating some simple new habits) I was so grateful to discover that weight loss doesn’t have to be 😫 miserable and unsustainable. Plus I could do it while enjoying some of my favorite foods 🍫 . Joyful weight loss was actually possible! And the changes I made around my mindset towards eating, started showing up in other parts of my life. Today, I’m more relaxed, more confident…as I create a community of joyous community for sustainable weight loss and maintenance. ( I would definitely let them know this is bigger (no pun intended) than weight loss, this is going to extend into more aspects of their life)

If you can imagine yourself joyously losing weight, & are curious about what a custom, non-deprived, joyful 😆 lifestyle (for weight loss and beyond) would look like for you? To continue our conversation, please join my community by requesting access to my group 🕺💃 (and don’t forget to register with your email ✉️ for a free, downloadable workbook: Discover Joy in Losing Weight).

Some different ideas for some of the sentences:

It took me 6 whole years to lose just 40 lbs.
I lost 40 lbs in only 4 months! I was so excited and on top of that I managed to keep the weight off for an entire year.

But then I gained back 12 lbs. What I was doing to lose weight wasn’t helping me keep the weight off. I needed to try something different.

I think you can drop the word sudden before realization and use I realized. And I’d drop the one day.

Love the version you published