TinaJones

JessicaPetter
2 years, 10 months ago

Kerstin! I love what you do, and so well explained. I can relate: my husband is French, and his entire family is only French-speaking, so I was pretty motivated to learn the language!! I have done some of the apps and youtube channels and also some in-person courses. I can relate to the absolute frustration of trying to wrap my brain around…Read More
- KerstinPeters
  2 years, 10 months ago
  
  Thank you, JessicaPetter. It is so frustrating to see how many people try it alone and struggle until they abandon learning the language.
JoelElfman
2 years, 10 months ago

Kerstin this is great. Your paragraphs are really, clear, clean and compelling for each idea. I would consider sub-headers for some of the them. Intention; Commitment; Discipline; Communication. You might move your story up, and consider a client story. The only part that really threw me off is your title. The title felt entirely counter-intuitive…Read More
- KerstinPeters
  2 years, 10 months ago
  
  Joel, thank you for the feedback. I was not too excited about the title and will still work on a more compelling one. Thank you for your suggestions.
  - KerstinPeters
    2 years, 10 months ago
    
    I thought about several other Titles after Shannon’s title templates. How do you feel about the following?
    
    Why You Shouldn’t Rely on Apps and Online Programmes to Learn a New Language
    
    Why Learning a New Language with Apps and Online Programmes Will Leave You Frustrated
    
    Why Hiring an Instructor to Learn a New Language Will Save You Time and I…Read More
  - KerstinPeters
    2 years, 10 months ago
    
    Here is a slightly shorter version with bolded main points:
    
    These days, you can find many language apps, online programmes and YouTube channels that promise you free and easy to follow resources to learn a new language without an instructor. However, most people will experience frustration and waste a lot of time trying to teach themselves a…Read More
    - KerstinPeters
      2 years, 10 months ago
      
      Unfortunately, the formatting of the bold words is not showing.
      - KerstinPeters
        2 years, 10 months ago
        
        Here are the words I will emphasize: accountability, support your individual strengths and weaknesses, communicate, overcome the fear to talk, knowing a country’s traditions and culture
NancyChen
2 years, 10 months ago

Hi Jessica,
- NancyChen
  2 years, 10 months ago
  
  …love your passion, it comes through here! Might it have more impact if you present your core argument point up front, like ” learning a language through fun, live interaction is way/infinitely/10X more effective than an online app”. And here’s why. I’d like to hear more about YOUR process up front; a bolder title would also convey your passion!
  - KerstinPeters
    2 years, 9 months ago
    
    Thank you, NancyChen for the suggestions. I am still not happy with the title but will nevertheless use it for a FB live. Do you have any suggestion for the title?
    - KerstinPeters
      2 years, 9 months ago
      
      Here are some more title ideas: 1) Why Apps Don’t Teach You Communication 2) Why You Should Not Rely on Apps to Learn a Language 3) Why an App Cannot Teach You Conversations in a Foreign Language 4) Language App Versus Human Instructor – How to Learn a Language Successfully

JoelElfman
2 years, 10 months ago

The opening hook, isn’t grabbing me. Go bolder, “A travel advisor who says they can book anything, might as well point you at Expedia”, or just try a different headline. “Is your travel advisor, a generalist or a specialist”. That gets me curious about what a specialist is. A good travel advisor is what? going to save you time, money, &/or create…Read More
- Amy Flo-Yo
  2 years, 10 months ago
  
  ONCE AGAIN – Many Thanks!
Nancy Jackson
2 years, 10 months ago

Great outline Amy! I’m thinking a bolder intro – perhaps something like – has your travel advisor ever even traveled? And maybe a bit more detail about how the average person is being misled when making travel arrangements. You clearly make it a more personal/connection – taking the time to get to know them, and I’m sure not many actually do that.…Read More
- Amy Flo-Yo
  2 years, 10 months ago
  
  OHHH Nancy – so good! Thank you.
JessicaPetter
2 years, 10 months ago

Great job, Amy!! Love your stance, and great other feedback. I immediately thought about drumming up an image of the “magic” of travel as an opening statement…. What makes travel magical? As a travel agent, you have a finger on that pulse, I really don’t, but when I’ve booked with an agent vs on my own, I’ve found my travel to be richer. My…Read More
- Amy Flo-Yo
  2 years, 10 months ago
  
  Jessica I love that … can I use that as a quote?
  - JessicaPetter
    2 years, 10 months ago
    
    Of course!!
- Shannon
  2 years, 10 months ago
  
  Amy – love this. And I remembered what I wanted to share in the club this week. Something like this, for an opener: Do you want a trusted travel advisor that sells travel or AN UNFORGETTABLE EXPERIENCE?

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