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Email #4 for my nurture sequence. Do you connect with the story and the points?
Hey, FNAME!
A few months ago, I was on holiday in Istanbul, Turkey and everything that could go wrong WENT wrong.
I got a serious sugar craving and ate a fully processed sugar, gluten and cream loaded baklava – which was kind of unusual considering the number o…Read More-
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Hi Jaini. Thank you for your message.
The Club wall is set up for peer to peer review, and we encourage you to tag 2 or 3 of your peers when you post asking for feedback. This will hopefully get their attention and get conversations going.
As you can imagine, Shannon and I do not review every single posted content in this program, as that is…Read More
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I liked this a lot Jaini and think it’s quite clear – both the connecting with audience and your invitation for a discovery call. Sorry it’s so quite here – I admit, I forget to log on. Feel free to reach out directly if you want some feedback – wdnyc2014@gmail.com
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I like this, it’s very relatable. I think this sentence needs a little reworking and learnt should be learned. “I learnt so much about my big feelings that I was holding in as soon as I shared them with my husband, it reminded me the power of talking out loud.”
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Would love your comments on this Email #3 for my nurture sequence. Does this sound inviting and speaking to someone you know?
Hello, I’m dropping in again, FNAME.
I love all things mindful eating, empowering transformation, and creating vibrant, joyful lives. But I also know that finding balance, breaking old habits, and stepping into a h…Read More
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Okay so I really was at a loss on our last Zoom. I am the definition of giving an awkward introduction. It’s time to change that up 🙂 I asked past/future clients in my FB group for help and this is what we came up with. Let me know if you can see yourself or a friend. Any suggestions on tweaking it are appreciated!
My name is Kathy and I am a…Read More
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Hi Kathy! It’s great you went and asked your clients, because they are the ones you want to speak out to, so using their language is helpful. I feel the statement lacks a little bit of emotion, though I could see someone who could be your client (me!). Perhaps just a couple of change in words like embrace their inner beauty, their true essence and…Read More
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Hi everyone. I’ve already sent out my email for this week as I was super inspired by Shannon today in the Office Hours. I decided to create my own small pond to be the big fish in, in a Facebook group called Say Yes to Your Next YES: https://www.facebook.com/groups/sayyestoyouryescommunity
So today’s email is unpacking the myth that we need…Read More
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This is a deeper strategy convo, which isn’t something we can do here on the Wall. But… what I love is you are trying to connect deeper with your people. Please report back to let us know how this experiment went! I saw the Yes to your next YES post and I think you are doing much better at going deeper with your content.
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Following yesterday’s call here’s a draft of the email I’d like to send out. Let me know if it’s catchy and if you get the point?
Subject line: Don’t Invite the Holiday Weight
Preview: Have fun on holiday!Hook: Say goodbye to the holiday weight – or just don’t invite it in the first place!
Sound too good to be true?Here’s the thing,…Read More
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Hey @jaini-shah15gmail-com, I love this email because it is a huge struggle for everyone. I would be more tempted to open the email if it had a catchy title like “Escape the holiday hangovers and turkey dinner syndrome” and as a sub title “Do this instead” or something around those lines.
I would have this sentence right at the top. That would…Read More
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Thanks @jenniferjenniferjaneyoung-com! Oh my gosh, great idea on using the questions in social media for engagement. I will add that to my Instagram ideas to action!
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Hi everyone. Post our call today, I made a video newsletter and added a bit of text to it to give people context. It actually felt so good and easy to just drop this as a video. I think in this way people really get to experience me as a teacher and coach which gives them a preview into what it’s like to work with me.
Email title: Are you too…Read More
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Thanks @jaini-shah15gmail-com I’m finally feeling like I’m on a roll!!
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Are we going to get a template from Wednesday? I know you all are out of the country with not great internet –
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Hi everyone. Ok here is email #1 I wrote per yesterday’s training.
Is the email enticing and does it make you want to get support to take the next big leap in your life or business? Does it touch directly enough to pain points? And do you think it would convert?Subject line: Is trusting your intuition reckless?
Hook: What to do when your…Read More4 Comments-
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Thanks @lisajohnsvagmail-com 🙂 I know I always have so much to say lol. I’ll work on tightning up my emails a bit!!
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this should be in the download, not this email. You are trying to do too much in 1 single email.
I suggest doing the meditation first to unleash your intuition and then dive into the journal questions. Set aside an hour and offer yourself a Say Yes retreat at home with a nice cup of tea or coffee and let yourself dream a little. Do the meditation…Read More-
Thanks @amymshannonhernandez-com. Good idea to put it with the dowload. Was my email pretty enticing and clear? Or does the email in general have too much information?
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Happy Friday! Make sure you are posting and reading other’s drafts. Ask questions for clarification or if you are seeing a gap, share how the words made you feel and keep on supporting each other
Please don’t tag Shannon or me in your draft posts, it makes others feel like they can not comment.
Remember, this is a community forum and it is…Read More
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Thanks @amymshannonhernandez-com just posted mine 😉 Just to clarify and better understand, we will also get feedback from you and Shannon? Thanks for clarifying. Trying to understand the flow of all the things in here 😎
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NURTURE SEQUENCE- EMAIL 1
Would love some feedback here please, is the email too wordy? Am I direct enough as to who I’m talking to and what I believe? Note I am using this as a welcome sequence for those who join my list through my landing page/link in bio form.
Subject: FirstNAME, Nice to meet you!
Preview: [Lets Get Healthy]Hello…Read More
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individuals in your BIG mission section falls flat. It seems not like you and is cold. Look at your bold qualifiers… what else can you use there?
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Thanks Amy. What are bold qualifiers? Here’s a re-work of the Big Mission: “My BIG mission is to help tired individuals change their mindset and food habits so that they can wake up feeling fresh, have the energy to do all the things they love, go on adventures with ease and just feel light, energetic and happy in their body. “
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How do you find the edited version? Also this is a third version. I really want to get this nurture sequence out this week, so any feedback would be great!
“My BIG mission is to empower individuals who feel tired, stuck, or held back by fears, mental blocks, or unhealthy habits to take a stand for their health. I want to help you wake up feeling…Read More
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Hi @jaini-shah15gmail-com Here are some thoughts.
This empowering statement would have kep me reading if it were at the beginning: My BIG mission is to help individuals who are seeking more energy to do the things they love, want to break through any fears or mental blocks that are holding them back to take a stand for their health, master their…Read More
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@amymshannonhernandez-com and @clientsmshannonhernandez-com tagging you as it’s really quiet here in the forum and would love to get momentum on this and get my welcome sequence out. So please share your feedback as we wait for community members