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Great meeting today! Here are the links of examples that Brea shared with us today + @diana-lidstonegmail-com‘s…Read More
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Hey guys — would love further feedback on this landing page? Would the word ‘stealers’ or wasters be better than saboteurs? This is the draft for the first iteration of the workshop. https://dianalidstone.com/uncover-hidden-profits/
4 Comments-
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![Profile picture of AmyHager]()
This makes a lot of sense. Wasters is the better description
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![Profile picture of Annette Presley]()
I think either works, but I like stealers better because waster implies that the person is wasting time rather than the activity taking up their time so they can’t do more important things.
I don’t know if this works better or not, but what about 10x productivity for you and your team.
And I would put 9 time stealers instead of 9 sabateurs at the end.
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![Profile picture of KerstinPeters]()
At first, I liked saboteur best, but when I checked the definition, it signified that a person does an action deliberately. For your workshop, I would probably go with waster. While the persons are active, they concentrate on the wrong activities.
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Happy Wednesday Club peeps! Want to get a little more support on your messaging –in a super fun conversational way?
This week we are highlighting Ep 3 of our Season 2 podcast: We invite you to take a deeper look with us at how to create Share Your Stance Content. In today’s landscape, you have to take a stand – and we’re going to talk about h…Read More
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KerstinPeters is with JoelElfman and 19 others
Is anyone planning to join me Thursday at noon ET for the 4 Th Wednesday Community Cooperation Meeting? Some of you mentioned that they had a time conflict. I could also host it at 10:30 AM or 3:30 PM.
Time: Aug 24, 2022 12:00 Eastern Time (US and Canada)
Every month on the Fourth Wed, 4 occurrence(s)
Aug 24, 2022 12:00…Read More![Profile Photo]()
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Here’s my why I do what I do story:
When I first started out as a dietitian, I was so excited to help people feel better and have the ability and energy to do all the things they wanted to do.
About 14 years in, my excitement turned to anger when I discovered that the advice I was giving was actually contributing to chronic disease and…Read More
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10 Comments-
![Profile picture of Annette Presley]()
Whoops. Is it compelling? Anything you don’t like?
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![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
I like it a lot. Here are a few suggested edits. I think your anger & frustration w/ the system comes through clearly, along w/ the desire for something better. I imagine the women struggling w/ all of these might need a sense of support & caring. While I know you care deeply about your clients. Somehow, I don’t feel I’m getting quite as str…Read More
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![Profile picture of Annette Presley]()
Great, thank you!
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![Profile picture of JulianneMiller, AFC®]()
I agree with Joel that I think it comes out harsher than kinder. The first section especially comes out strong. Paragraph 3 & 4 seem very personal so I think they need to change some. Instead of saying you were “getting away with it”, make this more about your clients at the time. Something along the lines of “My system was meant to help my…Read More
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![Profile picture of Annette Presley]()
Thank you!
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![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
I’m looking forward to the rewrite. You got a great story and a wonderful rhythm of tension & release. A little more of your vulnerable and caring side and you are there.
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![Profile picture of Annette Presley]()
How about this?
When I first started out as a dietitian, I was so excited to help people feel better and have the ability and energy to do all the things they wanted to do.
About 14 years in, my excitement turned to anger when I discovered that the advice I was giving was actually contributing to chronic disease and obesity. I was so mad I…Read More
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![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
Hi Annette,
This is better. It’s still got a little bit of focus on your upset, so I wonder if we can take advantage of that. And I hope I’m not putting words in your mouth.When I first started out as a dietitian, I was so excited to help people feel better and have the ability and energy to do all the things they wanted to do.
About 14 yea…Read More
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![Profile picture of Annette Presley]()
Thank you Joel! You helped me see something. I was reading your rewrite and thought if I have to say I care that many times for it to come across that I care (particularly when no else has to do that), then there is a disconnect somewhere so I did some Theta Healing around compassion and changed some things. I’ll do a rewrite and we’ll see if that…Read More
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![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
Hi Annette, I look forward to the rewrite.
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Is everyone getting notifications from this forum? I am not receiving notifications when someone posts something. I have checked the settings and they look ok.
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![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
I don’t think we get notified about everything. You may have to be friends w/ the person or may have to have commented previously. I forget the exact parameters.
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![Profile picture of JulianneMiller, AFC®]()
ah, ok that makes sense. Thank you
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Below is my visual content for my post. Left side represents the setbacks and right side represents the ah-ha moments.
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6 Comments-
![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
Pretty good, the negative money is:” is the only place I think that needs more attention. I would consider chunking down and getting specific here. Sorry some of these are long for space allotted.
* Late payments
* Borrowing to stay afloat
* Scrambling to meet bills
* Overwhelmed by details
* Watching your dreams of house, car, wedding, drift…Read More-
![Profile picture of JulianneMiller, AFC®]()
ok so that’s some great feedback. I think I can get some of these in there with some detail. Thank you!
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![Profile picture of JulianneMiller, AFC®]()
Thanks Joel, great feedback!
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![Profile picture of Annette Presley]()
I like Joel’s suggestions. Make it more specific so people can relate. I love from stressed and stuck to calm and collected. I’m not crazy about the blurb after that because it doesn’t roll off the tongue well and it’s more about you than the client. How about something like, “How small, daily improvements with money can empower you to make the…Read More
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![Profile picture of JulianneMiller, AFC®]()
Great, thank you Annette!
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![Profile picture of KerstinPeters]()
I agree with Annette and Joel. I would change it from “Money is” to “Money decisions are…”.
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Trying to write this Turning Point/Journey piece been a tortuous piece for me. It’s still way too long, but at least it’s progress.
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Almost all of my life I’ve sat uneasily on an uneven 3 legged stool, wobbling back & forth between a wild imagination, physical activities and the expectations of others or society.⁃ As a young boy, I…Read More
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12 Comments-
![Profile picture of Amy Flo-Yo]()
OK – what is the call to action here?
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![Profile picture of Amy Flo-Yo]()
I think it is brilliant, flows wonderfully. A few small take outs to tighten in up.. and off it goes:
DANG IT – the friggin strike throughs won’t show up in here. SO here it is with stuff just deleted:
Almost all of my life I’ve sat uneasily on an uneven 3 legged stool, wobbling back & forth between a wild imagination, physical activities a…Read More
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![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
Thanks @Amy Flo-Yo for the comments & for the CTA reminder. I got so caught up in the writing, I forgot.
CTA – If you are interested in connecting mind & body, being that better, more natural version of yourself, then reach out and schedule a discovery chat. If you can imagine a happier, more confident you, getting more done, easily &…Read More
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![Profile picture of Amy Flo-Yo]()
LOL – still too many words 😉 As a past grant writer I know all about more words to fill word count and fluff…BUT this type of stuff needs to be “easy” to process. That first sentence is clunky. just use this: If you can imagine a happier, more confident you, getting more done, easily & effortlessly, and feeling better about life then we…Read More
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![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
Thanks again, Amy, I knew it was clunky, thanks for your suggestions.
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![Profile picture of Annette Presley]()
I tightened it a little, so here’s my version:
For most of my life I’ve sat uneasily on a 3 legged stool, wobbling back & forth between a wild imagination, physical activities, and the expectations of others or society.
⁃ As a young boy, I did Modern Dance, until it didn’t seem like the thing a boy should be doing.
⁃ I was a voracious reader…Read More
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![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
Thanks Annette, wonderful edit. You & Amy Flo-Yo are awesome.
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![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
Many thanks to @Amy Flo-Yo & @Annette Presley for their wonderful edits. I blended parts of both for the rewrite. I also added a new paragraph to start, because I thought it fit the theme really well. I also included an alternative flip at the bottom of the 1st paragraph, just in case folks thought that might be better.
=================When…Read More
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![Profile picture of Annette Presley]()
I like the beginning. There is some duplication. I don’t think you need both of these paragraphs:
Hypnosis has given me more confidence, made me feel more relaxed, and has allowed me to help an amazing array of people.
⁃ Hypnosis has been a beautiful gift to me, helping me become more confident and relaxed, and allowing me to help an amazing a…Read More
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![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
@Annette Presely Thank you for catching the duplication & grammar. I will edit accordingly.
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![Profile picture of Annette Presley]()
I would use but in truth instead of and in truth with the second paragraph. And there is redundancy in these two paragraphs.
The body is as much a part of our unconscious as our mind. The body always speaks the truth to us, and it gives us simple, natural, elegant tools to help us, even when we are inarticulate, caught up in overthinking, or…Read More
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![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
Posted on FB, LinkedIn, & is the new About page for my website
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Diana – I have been thinking about wasters and stealers for several days!!! Not sure if you’ve chosen one – but I’m opting on “wasters”. – I feel like I want to steal more time to do things but I know that I waste time doing things that are distracting or?
maybe this helps???