Annette Presley

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Here is step 2 of the message, the story outline:

Immigrating to Canada, I had the language skills after a two-year certification as a foreign language correspondent. While I could perform oral business translations, I did not dare to talk to people. During the full-time programme, the goal was perfection. However, we never practiced improvised…Read More

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5 Comments

Shannon
2 years, 5 months ago

Great draft – my recommendation would you warm this up with wayyy more emotion (I know this is hard for some cultures). Here’s a rewrite so you get the gist:

I was so afraid of everyone thinking I was stupid, that I practiced my new language with our puppy–who I knew would not be judgemental and would be willing to listen! After immigrating to…Read More
- KerstinPeters
  2 years, 5 months ago
  
  Thanks, Shannon, I see what you mean. I will see what I can do.
- JoelElfman
  2 years, 5 months ago
  
  I’m wondering if you can also make a joke about the puppy’s conversation improving as well.
  - KerstinPeters
    2 years, 5 months ago
    
    @Joel, that is not a bad idea. I will see if I can add that.
- KerstinPeters
  2 years, 5 months ago
  
  Second draft:
  
  When I immigrated to Canada, I had the language skills to thrive in my new country after a two-year certification as a foreign language correspondent. While I could confidently perform oral business translations, I did not dare to talk to people. During the full-time programme, the goal was perfection. However, we never practiced…Read More

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