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Email Number 4- Does this email speak to those looking to change their health and is it clear that if they sign up for the Masterclass they will have the answers to better health? @amymshannonhernandez-com @clientsmshannonhernandez-com
Subject Line: Do Holidays mean Overeating?
Preview: Is it possible to enjoy a holiday where it isn’t all…Read More![Profile Photo]()
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![Profile picture of Jaini Shah]()
Thank you! Good point, clear is there a lot, I’ll edit that part 🙂
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![Profile picture of Shannon]()
Hi @jaini-shah15gmail-com – love this take on holidays and over eating. Can you include in the last paragraph a bulleted list of the 3 takeaways from the workshop?
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Email Number 3- if you read this email, would you want to know more about what food to eat and avoid? Hoping to get some discovery calls booked! @amymshannonhernandez-com @clientsmshannonhernandez-com
Subject Line: Does it rot?
Preview: How do you know if food is real?Hook Line: Something weird happened, I bought a croissant and decided…Read More
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Don’t add fluff to the hook line
Hook Line: Something weird happened, I bought a croissant and decided not to eat it, and then A YEAR LATER- the croissant is still here 😷😷Get straight to it: I bought a croissant and decided not to eat it, and then A YEAR LATER- the croissant is still here
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![Profile picture of Shannon]()
agreed! less words = more clarity (in cases like this)
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Email Number 2- Please share your thoughts- Does this email make you feel curious about your hunger needs? And get you thinking, do I want to reassess my relationship with food?
Subject Line: Hunger isn’t about food 😱😱
Preview: I was recently proven right about this, you can be full and lose weight!Hook Line: Hunger is 99% NEVER about the…Read More
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I LOVE this piece – and the opening line. and the story! Well done @jaini-shah15gmail-com. Remember, subject lines and preview lines need to be 5 words or less – so you need to rethink this long preview line.
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Finally!!! Here’s my lead magnet, with 4 follow-up emails, and the offer. I’m nervous, after lots of work, and any feedback would be gold.
http://www.mysticpowersreview.comAlso, I am thinking of renaming it into Mystic Quiz. It’s more direct, more playful, and more clear. Mystic Powers Review is a mouthful, and I think it will have a harder time…Read More
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@samirselmanovicnycgmail-com hello! I will be diving deep into this with you once you get onboarded in our other program – but for now, I’m thinking the quiz needs to be: Modern Mystic Quiz. I like this a lot – and it’s better than “review”. Thoughts?
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![Profile picture of SamirSelmanovic]()
Love it! Also, I was thinking Mystic Leadership Quiz. The one you suggest is for more broad audience, more playful. While MLQ would identify who is this for in terms of my level 5 client, but not that playful and energizing like MMQ.
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![Profile picture of Dan Lewis]()
Oooh, I like the dynamic justaposition of Modern Mystic!
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I think that it is somewhat clear on what the masterclass covers. You might consider taking out the second to last paragraph ( Are you clear….) Clear is used quite a bit at the end of the email you may want to use some other words.