Diana – I have been thinking about wasters and stealers for several days!!! Not sure if you’ve chosen one – but I’m opting on “wasters”. – I feel like I want to steal more time to do things but I know that I waste time doing things that are distracting or?
maybe this helps???

I think either works, but I like stealers better because waster implies that the person is wasting time rather than the activity taking up their time so they can’t do more important things.

I don’t know if this works better or not, but what about 10x productivity for you and your team.

And I would put 9 time stealers instead of 9 sabateurs at the end.

At first, I liked saboteur best, but when I checked the definition, it signified that a person does an action deliberately. For your workshop, I would probably go with waster. While the persons are active, they concentrate on the wrong activities.

Whoops. Is it compelling? Anything you don’t like?

I agree with Joel that I think it comes out harsher than kinder. The first section especially comes out strong. Paragraph 3 & 4 seem very personal so I think they need to change some. Instead of saying you were “getting away with it”, make this more about your clients at the time. Something along the lines of “My system was meant to help my…Read More

OK – what is the call to action here?

I think it is brilliant, flows wonderfully. A few small take outs to tighten in up.. and off it goes:

DANG IT – the friggin strike throughs won’t show up in here. SO here it is with stuff just deleted:

Almost all of my life I’ve sat uneasily on an uneven 3 legged stool, wobbling back & forth between a wild imagination, physical activities a…Read More

I tightened it a little, so here’s my version:

For most of my life I’ve sat uneasily on a 3 legged stool, wobbling back & forth between a wild imagination, physical activities, and the expectations of others or society.

⁃ As a young boy, I did Modern Dance, until it didn’t seem like the thing a boy should be doing.

⁃ I was a voracious reader…Read More

Posted on FB, LinkedIn, & is the new About page for my website

The story starts very compelling. I would add some stronger adjectives in the second part ( It was a phenomenal success). I also would simplify the CTA. Only give them one option. I love the emojis.

I feel like you are missing something…. are you your ideal weight now? did you find that something you were looking for in the last round of experimentation?

Stephanie,
once again, nice job, I think you are pretty much on-target.I would open a little different, edit a few other places, and add a little more detail to give people a stronger feeling about what your struggles.

My journey to learning how to lose weight joyfully began n 2013. I was at my heaviest weight ever, and officially obese.

When I…Read More

Some different ideas for some of the sentences:

It took me 6 whole years to lose just 40 lbs.
I lost 40 lbs in only 4 months! I was so excited and on top of that I managed to keep the weight off for an entire year.

But then I gained back 12 lbs. What I was doing to lose weight wasn’t helping me keep the weight off. I needed to try something…Read More

Love the version you published