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Good Afternoon friends! I’ve posted my long form and a link to the video for how the Revenue PI came to be.
Hey Hey! My name is Tanya, and today I wanted to introduce myself and tell you the story of how The Revenue PI came to be.
The medical field has been near and dear to my heart for as long as I can remember. As a kid, I wanted to be a…Read More
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3 Comments-
![Profile picture of Stephanie Zoernack]()
I love how you combined the two versions like we talked about in the club meeting, this is so much better and has much more emotion than the one I listened to Wednesday. I didn’t watch this video version, just read it, but I think it’s great!
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![Profile picture of Annette Presley]()
I love this!
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Hi lovelies!
I am working on my vision statement. I am working off of my Universal Truth: Embracing your emotional relationship with food heals your mind, body and soul.The Mission:
We believe creating awareness around your (a, the?) relationship with food can heal the world.I am struggling with ” your, a, the” also is “the world” too broad?
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![Profile picture of AmyHager]()
I would keep it ‘your’. What you do is very personal.
How does our relationship with food help heal the world? It is too broad the way it is written now. Why is this important? -
![Profile picture of TanyaEasterling]()
I agree with Amy, if your vision is around the “your” your mission should be too. (“Embracing your…” and creating awareness around you…”) It’s more personal. I also don’t think world here is too broad. If one person at a time can be healed / have awarenesss around food then essentially you’re healing the world, just one person at a time 🙂
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![Profile picture of Amy Civica]()
Thank you Tanya
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![Profile picture of KerstinPeters]()
I would leave the “your” but I am not clear how the personal awareness about food is healing the world.
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Direct Offer Content
Are you feeling frustration, stress, anxiety, conflicted within yourself or with different parts of your life? Tired of conducting life from the rear seats vs. being your best self.If so, join my signature BodyHypnosis program. 12 weeks of 1:1 personal sessions and learn how to:
– Create more awareness around the…Read More
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4 Comments-
![Profile picture of AmyHager]()
I love the end. If Change is calling, book a call. ❤️
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![Profile picture of Amy Flo-Yo]()
Wow I love it – easy to read – great flow!
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![Profile picture of Shannon]()
Joel – this is clear and concise – good job. I wouldn’t say “if so join my …” because you are then asking them for a consult. See how that may feel like a mixed message to your peeps? You might say something like: If this sounds like what you are experiencing, you may benefit from program called xyz. See the difference?
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![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
Thanks Shannon, I will include the change
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DIRECT OFFER EMAIL – Draft 1
Used the magic word, “repeatable”!
Comments invited!Hello ,
Do you want to build more influence at work so that you can reach your goals?
If so, I would like to work with you in my PILOT Leadership Program designed for Asian women. This group program delivers the same system that has transformed many…Read More
4 Comments-
![Profile picture of NancyChen]()
Forgot the title: CAN BEING ASIAN SABOTAGE YOUR CAREER?
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![Profile picture of AmyHager]()
I would remove the word PILOT. You know what you are doing and you can help these women. Adding Pilot makes this seem like it isn’t real. Like you are experimenting and not the leader you really are.
The special benefits – like bonus coaching – is something that you can gift people once they are in. The feedback will happen because you build…Read More-
![Profile picture of NancyChen]()
Thanks for your feedback, Amy – it’s making more sense to me now.
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![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
Nice work Nancy.
CAN BEING ASIAN SABOTAGE YOUR CAREER? (Not crazy about this title. Is this about their DNA, their cultural beliefs or others beliefs about Asians. Which one or ones are you addressing)
I would make sure you hammer home, Who this is for, Asian woman, and Why, cultural heritage. Make sure they feel this is tailored to them, and…Read More
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Would love any and all feedback on my direct offer post that would go into an email:
Hi ***,
Did you know that data driven businesses are 23 times more likely to acquire new customers and 19 times more likely to be profitable? Those are some staggering statistics folks, whether you love numbers or hate them. The evidence is clear that looking at…Read More
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11 Comments-
![Profile picture of Annette Presley]()
I think it sounds great!
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![Profile picture of DonnaDube]()
Thanks Annette! I appreciate you taking the time to read it through.
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![Profile picture of SusanMaldonado]()
Yes this is so good!!
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![Profile picture of DonnaDube]()
Thanks Sue! Appreciate it.
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![Profile picture of NancyChen]()
Hi Donna, this is reading tight and strong; good work, Any ideas for a grabby TITLE?
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![Profile picture of DonnaDube]()
Thanks Nancy. For a title I was thinking “It’s time for profitable decision making in your business”
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![Profile picture of NancyChen]()
Donna, I think that the arguments that you make so strongly to follow are too compelling, and almost demand, a hookier title. Let yourself get passionate about your topic, which you clearly are, and see what comes out :-D! ?How to make your numbers your best friend vs. your worst enemy? Stop sweeping the financial truth of your business under the…Read More-
![Profile picture of DonnaDube]()
Nancy, thanks for your kind words.. love your suggestions.. I will have some fun with it and see what I can come up with. Titles are obviously not my strong point! On a side note, I would be happy to chat with you further if you wish, no need to wait till you hit $200K!
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![Profile picture of KerstinPeters]()
Very clear and compelling, Donna. I have a similar problem with titles.
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![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
Donna, really good.
I would consider flipping “Are you ready to dump uncertain guesswork and start making profitable decisions in your business?, to “Are you ready to start making profitable decisions in your business, and dump uncertain guesswork?
And I would also consider, again switching the CTA around, “Book a call with me and let’s make…Read More-
![Profile picture of DonnaDube]()
Thanks Joel for your thoughts! I like your suggestions.
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I think this is brilliant