-
-
-
PSA:
There’s nothing wrong with you. Not your story to own.
Being idle, having an off day, not feeling it, uncertainty…doesn’t mean you have a problem or there’s something wrong with you.
Not obtaining something like money in a short period of time doesn’t mean you have a money issue.
A kink in the hose doesn’t mean the hose is b…Read More
![Profile Photo]()
![Profile Photo]()
![Profile Photo]()
liked this
13 Comments-
-
![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
A few thoughts. In the opening. I’m not sure about “Not your story to own”. It was a little confusing to me. Maybe this could be stated a different way. It felt may too condensed a statement or too much shorthand for this opening thought.
-
![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
I would consider taking this paragraph, “The energy of your words and thoughts matter a lot. The story you’re telling yourself matters a lot. The story that people are feeding you by preying on your pain, matters a lot. Rather than finding fault with yourself, rather than having someone convince you that you have a productivity problem, see this a…Read More
-
![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
Last thought for the moment, I am wondering in the CTA, if “vision” is the right word. For me, it doesn’t quite feel like that what’s you’ve been evoking with the rest of the your language. It is a wonderful word, and I can easily see you using it. Yet, for this copy, I’m thinking there might be something that fits better.
-
![Profile picture of Nancy Jackson]()
Absolutely, will definitely play around with it and make sure it has a better flow. Thank you 🙂
-
-
-
-
![Profile picture of Nancy Jackson]()
Thanks for all the wonderful feedback and points Joel!! Very much appreciated 🙂
-
-
![Profile picture of NancyChen]()
Hi Nancy J, I loved “A Kink in the Hose Doesn’t Mean the Hose is Broken” so much, it could be the title! I sense that the bridge of your client’s transformation journey may be from Point A, where the client feels broken, to outcome Point B: “So if you’d like to gain clarity and direction to get out of your way, and back to your (true?) vision”. I…Read More
-
![Profile picture of Nancy Jackson]()
Great point Nancy!!! And yes, I think that’s a better way to start it out – sort of an attention grabber. Most appreciative of your feedback!!
-
-
![Profile picture of AmyHager]()
Great feedback from @nancychen1gmail-com and @bodymindhypnoticgmail-com.
-
![Profile picture of NancyChen]()
Hey Amy, I think I broke my ability to post (tried to upload a video). Would you post this on our community wall for me? And can I get my posting power back? Thanks.
-
![Profile picture of NancyChen]()
Here’s my PSA#1 Video. Let’s see if it works. Thanks for feedback.
“Who Says Asian Women Leaders Have Nothing to Complain About?” : https://youtu.be/Xk2ewiJ5kA4
-
-
-
![Profile picture of NancyChen]()
Hi again, Nancy. here’s my PSA #2 Video. Would love your feedback when you get a chance; Thanks!!! https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6924058865529475072/
-
![Profile picture of Nancy Jackson]()
I loved this! Great job 🙂 It was a great blend of overall facts with current truth and beyond. Until there’s true awareness around what you share, there will continue to be what people believe based on very old information. I think it’s important to also convey in some message that there’s so much more to Asian women then just the being smart and…Read More
-
-
-
Hey, thanks for feedback, all!
PSA SEED IDEA #1:
“Debunking the Myth that Asian Women Leaders Have Nothing to Complain About”1. Considered a “model minority” with nothing to complain about, Asian women are often invisible, overlooked, and under-rewarded at work, despite being subject to widespread gender and ethnic bias.…Read More
![Profile Photo]()
![Profile Photo]()
![Profile Photo]()
liked this
9 Comments-
![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
Nancy,
I really like your PSA. lots of good content.
My question is how much do you want to turn up the heat?
I modified the opening title and the start of a couple of the passages. As I saiid the rest I felt was really good. You may or may not want to get as aggressive as I’ve written these.“Who the Hell Says that Asian Women Leaders Have Not…Read More
-
![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
One more note, that caught me right at the end. Your website, is “POWER THE QUEEN”, which is absolutely brilliant. I am curious, when you are in one of those moments, when perhaps you fully step into & embrace being “YOUR MOST POWERFUL QUEEN”,, what changes, if any might she make in your PSA.
-
![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
PS. There are lots of different versions & forms of POWER. Please forgive if I stepped too far in the aggressive, male version of it, with my suggestions.
-
-
![Profile picture of NancyChen]()
Hi Joel, thanks for your specific feedback, very helpful; I feel encouraged to strengthen the tone up a notch. And I don’t mind your speaking your assertive mind at all. I do like, “Who Says Asian Women Leaders….?”. (Don’t want to scare off the mostly soft spoken introvert prospects — haha). Everybody seems to love my Power To The Queen name…Read More
-
![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
Hi Nancy,
I’m glad you liked my notes. And part of why I said to myself am I going too far, was in consideration of both you & for your audience. And again, there are lots of versions of being powerful. It might even bee something you talk about yin vs. yang, soft vs. hard. And within one there is the other.
One other thing to consider, if…Read More-
![Profile picture of NancyChen]()
Great future PSA Seed Idea, Joel!!
-
-
-
-
![Profile picture of Nancy Jackson]()
Great content Nancy! I echo Joel a bit in that I feel you could get this across even more with a bit more “queen fire” 🙂 I’m a little late to this so perhaps that’s something you’ve already changed up. And of course if you were going live or on video with this you’d be able to convey far more emotion and tone to it. Well written, but maybe a…Read More
-
![Profile picture of NancyChen]()
Scorch marks, Nancy J, yeah! Here’s my PSA#1 Video. Can you take a look when you get a chance? (it seems I can’t post it directly). I can turn on the heat a lot more than this; you give me the idea of showing a “hotter” version to my clients for their response. Thanks! Thanks!https://youtu.be/Xk2ewiJ5kA4
-
-
![Profile picture of Nancy Jackson]()
I missed this Nancy C! It shows that the video is private so I’m unable to watch, but I look forward to seeing it when you go live!!
-
-
PSA – 1st draft. I will probably end up doing this as a video.
– PSA – I Have a Love/Hate Relationship w/ Stage Hypnosis
– On the one hand, I hate when a stage hypnotists uses the model and myth that they take control someone’s mind.
– The truth of how hypnosis works, who has control, and what it looks like in a 1-1 setting is very d…Read More![Profile Photo]()
![Profile Photo]()
![Profile Photo]()
liked this
7 Comments-
![Profile picture of JessicaPetter]()
Awesome job, Joel! I struggle to speak to the difference between hypnotherapy and stage hypnosis daily, and you’ve done such an articulate job with great engagement. This difference is what everyone wonders about, so I love that you tackled it!
-
![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
Thanks Jessica. I’m trying.
-
-
![Profile picture of NancyChen]()
Joel, I see a lot of good content here, and I invite your to make it clearer to an unfamiliar reader, like me.
-
![Profile picture of NancyChen]()
continued….pressed wrong key. Title: “My love/hate relationship,…?”. #1 Say what it is: If it’s not about control, and people do have a choice, what is it about? #2 Give context for understanding: “The truth is… ” move this up, dive deeper – help reader appreciate the distinction and point of view you are asserting. #3 Counter example:…Read More
-
![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
Thanks Nancy for all this awesome feedback. I will work on this.
-
-
![Profile picture of Amy Flo-Yo]()
OHHHH I love the idea of doing as a video
-
![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
Thanks Amy Flo-Yo
-
-
- Load More Posts
Nancy, I really like this. I think it is very, very strong, overall.