Fuck. I accidently delete @ruthviolincox-net comment – when I was trying to say BRAVO on that feedback. DAMN. Ruth, sorry, do you remember what you wrote? It was spot on!

Hi Aimee, this is an attempted reconstruction of a previous post. If you already read that one see which of them you like more. The first paragraph is FIRE! The second one starts slow. Instead, how about: “The OH MY GODDESS experience is energy work fused with hair and scalp treatment services. Energy modalities such as Reiki, breathwork, and…Read More

crap my comments just disappeared !!!
I love this! and would love to experience the service!!!

I have a similar suggestion to RuthRoland. Here is my suggestion:
The second sentence.
Infusing (my gifts of) energy work with my hair and scalp treatment services it’s called the OH MY GODDESS Experience.

(like leading into excitement!)
And in the…Read More

Aimee, Not sure I’d go into the specific elements. And I’m not sure how your product can counteract the water issue. I really have no idea what goes into a hair detoxing session, but maybe your audience does?

I agree with Brenda about not using the specific elements. Do you have a story about someone who did the detox and how fabulous their hair was?

For the first sentence I’d say, “Here is the key reason your hair is dull and lifeless even though you use high quality hair products.”

“You have heavy metal and mineral build-up.”

What do I mean by…Read More

Diana – I have been thinking about wasters and stealers for several days!!! Not sure if you’ve chosen one – but I’m opting on “wasters”. – I feel like I want to steal more time to do things but I know that I waste time doing things that are distracting or?
maybe this helps???

I think either works, but I like stealers better because waster implies that the person is wasting time rather than the activity taking up their time so they can’t do more important things.

I don’t know if this works better or not, but what about 10x productivity for you and your team.

And I would put 9 time stealers instead of 9 sabateurs at the end.

At first, I liked saboteur best, but when I checked the definition, it signified that a person does an action deliberately. For your workshop, I would probably go with waster. While the persons are active, they concentrate on the wrong activities.

I am excited to see it with an image

Hi Aimee, this is very good. 1-2 minor spelling errors (results & assessment). From what I understand Google can punish rankings of claims like “the most amazing”, the best, you can get around it by making it subjective. “I believe this is the most amazing..” Also, if you some authority, I would consider adding it here. “Being a stylist for 10…Read More

1) I would say …” without paid ads and even social media”. Your clients can still use any or both, but you give them options to succeed without these tools. 2) Do you only work with entrepreneurs who already have a team? If I read this, I assume it is not for solopreneurs. 3) “… to pay yourself and your team competitively. You might even…Read More

#3 — Optimize your business model and metrics in your PROFIT Plan that will uncover hidden profit leaks and where you might be leaving money on the table.

I might change the second point to use a comma after bottleneck and then ‘allowing you the freedom you truly desire.’