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Email Number 4- Does this email speak to those looking to change their health and is it clear that if they sign up for the Masterclass they will have the answers to better health? @amymshannonhernandez-com @clientsmshannonhernandez-com
Subject Line: Do Holidays mean Overeating?
Preview: Is it possible to enjoy a holiday where it isn’t all…Read More![Profile Photo]()
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3 Comments-
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![Profile picture of Jaini Shah]()
Thank you! Good point, clear is there a lot, I’ll edit that part 🙂
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![Profile picture of Shannon]()
Hi @jaini-shah15gmail-com – love this take on holidays and over eating. Can you include in the last paragraph a bulleted list of the 3 takeaways from the workshop?
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Email Number 3- if you read this email, would you want to know more about what food to eat and avoid? Hoping to get some discovery calls booked! @amymshannonhernandez-com @clientsmshannonhernandez-com
Subject Line: Does it rot?
Preview: How do you know if food is real?Hook Line: Something weird happened, I bought a croissant and decided…Read More
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2 Comments-
![Profile picture of AmyHager]()
Don’t add fluff to the hook line
Hook Line: Something weird happened, I bought a croissant and decided not to eat it, and then A YEAR LATER- the croissant is still here 😷😷Get straight to it: I bought a croissant and decided not to eat it, and then A YEAR LATER- the croissant is still here
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![Profile picture of Shannon]()
agreed! less words = more clarity (in cases like this)
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I am creating a landing page for an online masterclass that I am hosting on 29 July 2024. Below is the text for the landing page (or you can have a look at the landing page here: https://wildbutterfly.myflodesk.com/nkh6awy5pc). Would love your thoughts everyone in the community and @amymshannonhernandez-com and @clientsmshannonhernandez-com on…Read More
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![Profile picture of AmyHager]()
Did you watch the landing page training? It doesn’t seem so, my suggestion is to go back to it and watch it.
Your email is more aligned VS your landing page.-
![Profile picture of Jaini Shah]()
Thanks! Which month is the landing page training? I’ll add that to the resources I need to watch.
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![Profile picture of Jaini Shah]()
Thanks will watch this!
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![Profile picture of Whitney Doherty]()
Whitney Doherty posted a new activity comment
@clientsmshannonhernandez-com @amymshannonhernandez-com my one concern about this piece – and I would love to hear your thoughts….is the idea that IF I am saying I helped others (without taking the credit or helping myself) and then offer to help others…..it seems like more of the same (*shrug emoji) I guess I am not clear how to say that I…Read More
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![Profile picture of Whitney Doherty]()
Whitney Doherty posted a new activity comment
I did not – wasn’t sure it was clear but I think I will – I’ll let you know what happens. Seems like it might be right for LinkedIn. Thanks @clientsmshannonhernandez-com
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I think that it is somewhat clear on what the masterclass covers. You might consider taking out the second to last paragraph ( Are you clear….) Clear is used quite a bit at the end of the email you may want to use some other words.