• Here’s the link to my coaching page: https://www.mylestogo.net/coaching
    Thanks for all the help and feedback today – much appreciated!

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    • Nichole, this is really good. Most of the comments are about color or fonts.:
      1- Gold on white is sometimes hard to read, especially w/ a cursive script. With this particular font, both the opening “N”, and later the opening “I” in a later testimonial almost blend a bit w/ the italics designating it as a testimonial.

      2- “Until I discovere…Read More

  • As requested, the URL for my sales page is: http://www.sarafins.com/bookkeeping
    🙂

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  • I had mentioned in one of the sessions that I was featured in a new LEVANTA online magazine. I am excited to share the link with you: https://issuu.com/design.your.plate.

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  • 1st draft
    BodyHypnosis Signature Program
    Are You Operating from Your Best Self?
    Create Clarity, Connection & Transformation
    – Reduce Stress, Anxiety
    – Create More Happiness, Confidence & Ease
    – Build New Habits, Beliefs & Ways of Thinking (i.e. Weight Loss, Stop Smoking, Imposter Syndrome and more)
    – Make Changes that are Positive, Healthy…Read More

    2 Comments
    • Hello Joel, I like that you described most of your benefits in a positive way, maybe you could also rewrite the first benefit: Establish More Balance and Calmness (or something similar)? I would move the words around in your CTA: Schedule a Clarity Call, and learn how the 12-week BodyHypnosis Program can improve your life.

      • Thanks Kerstin, I’ve changed the CTA and looking at the other changes you suggested. Just sent it off to my web people. I’ll make more changes soon.

  • Here is my first draft for the landing page for my three-month beginners course, Learn German Through Art:

    Wouldn’t it be great if you could communicate in everyday German?

    Learn German Through Art – A German Course Focusing on Everyday Conversations to get you talking with German speakers quickly and confidently

    In this interactive c…Read More

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    • I like this overall Kerstin, short and to the point. I wonder if you could include something that confirms I do not need to be an “artist” to enjoy this course, and also something to encourage me if I know absolutely “no German” now. Just to clarify who this program is for in a bit more detail.

      • Great questions, Donna!

      • Hello Donna, thanks for the suggestion. While I mention it when I talk about my courses, I should add: Are you worried about your artistic skills? If you can draw stick men, you can participate. I don’t teach you how to draw but how to use visual images that help you to remember new vocabulary.

    • I like this a lot. It does feel a little cut & dry. May get a little granular. How does the class have fun. Is there a particular fun exercise that you do, would it be okay to mention something about it. I’m wondering if any of your students have some funny stories about a situation where their conversational skill came in handy. Getting…Read More

      • Hello Joel, I appreciate your feedback. With every month of Content Personality Club, I update my website. Karen Joy Fritz had also some great ideas. My website was just relaunched. We are still ironing out issues. I should be able to do my own updates by next week. Therefore, I have not added the September update. Please check it out at…Read More

        • Happy to help. Page looks good. The quote on the left is biig, bold, and negative. Can you add more so there is a transformation state at the end “…and now, I easily talk to…”

  • Here’s my copy for the TinyBiz Blueprint pilot course:
    (Draft up at

    Architect Your Custom TinyBiz Blueprint Pilot


    )

    Serious About Simplifying?
    Architect Your 1 Page Blueprint for Your Simplest Possible Business
    support your lifestyle while you do your good in the world

    [Count Me In] button jumps down to buy button

    Whether your decision to simplify…Read More

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    • I feel like this might be too long and could be more concise. I don’t think you need to use the word pilot because it makes it sound like you are creating a blueprint for a pilot program not necessarily a business.

      I am not fond of the word architect. It’s not relatable and architecting something doesn’t sound simple or easy. I think design,…Read More

    • I agree with Annette. I would replace the word architect with create or design because you want your plan to be flexible and unique and not strict and without any tolerances. I would use the word pilot in a subtitle.
      Design Your Custom TinyBiz Blueprint – a four-week pilot program to downshift your business to have more time, attention, and…Read More

    • Great advice from Annette and Kerstin. You do not need to say it is pilot program. It is a four-week program.

  • Here’s my landing page copy draft for a free discovery call with me.

    Tame your wild hormones, clear your brain fog, and get your joy and your life back!

    If you are tired of feeling like crap, you need to book your Nutrition Game Plan session where we’ll uncover what is preventing you from feeling amazing and the steps you need to take to get f…Read More

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    • “Tame your wild hormones” is a how – it’s not something I know I want.

      Maybe change up “If you are…” to “Are you…” so the reader seems more engaged and giving you yesses along the way.

      Again in the benefits, causing my hormones to behave badly is a how. Foods and habits causing sleeplessness, brain fog, irritability… those are things I…Read More

      • Thank you , I appreciate your feedback!

        Interesting. I think you are the first woman I’ve encountered who isn’t interested in hormones. Now, hormones aren’t actually the problem, it’s mineral dysregulation, but no one is going to be seeking that so that’s why I use hormones since that is what they complain about. But I can add some symptoms.

        I…Read More

    • Re: “Tame your wild hormones” – i hear what @karen is saying above about it being a “how” and yet – so many of us hear “it’s your hormones” – I think it has become common vernacular for women to blame “everything” on their “hormones”. I like it!!! Maybe it’s at the end – you will help them “tame them”….

      • Yeah, I hear “my hormones” all the time. It’s not actually hormones that are the problem, it’s mineral dysregulation, but no one is going to be looking to balance their minerals. Mineral dysregulation is behind everything.

  • Hey there! Slight delay in the replay. Please go here to view it from Wed’s meeting: https://us02web.zoom.us/rec/share/crFMhOydLdoe5adiLdrlDlDXL63uRj9xGrP8DMJYFWDdW0TXSqU3JyBI3CRhHI1x.kK1nz_SgV67UMMs4

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  • hello Everyone! (ok here it goes – Landing Page copy draft 1)
    1. Beginner Argentine Tango course 1: eight week course for those with little or no experience dancing.
    2. Tired of the day to day grind?
    Beginner Argentine Tango course 1: begin your journey to relieve your stress and improve your overall health
    Benefits:
    * improve your overall…Read More

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    • I feel like your Number 3 point should actually be your title! There is more excitement in that. My recommendation is to move this “Do you need social interactions? are you bored? do you have zoom fatigue? Then this is the beginning –” to the title
      and leave this “Join this Entry level course to Argentine Tango your first step to fun!” as the l…Read More

      • Julianne – this is so juicy – and very helpful. I’m going to play some more with it but I really love it! Thank you for that!

      • Another tweak. Instead of “Then this is just the beginning!” how about something like Then you need to dance!

        Instead of renew your social interactions how about make new friends, laugh, and feel like a human again.

    • Zoom zone got you feeling bland? Tango your way to feeling grand!

      Enter the zesty world of beginning Argentine Tango and dance your way to balance, flexibility, strength, and endurance in a safe environment to laugh with new people. Argentine Tango – your first step to make exercise FUN!

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