Love NLP! I don’t know it thoroughly, but I teach as much as I can using positives. I really want to address the physical pain often associated with learning an instrument, often from past experience. With the help of a thesaurus I found the word “comfortable” (duh). I also un-Yoda’d the syntax. Thank you!

Yes, exactly–I want the words to be just right. It takes awhile, but I disagree that it’s overthinking. I understand that it’s not necessary to have the words fine-tuned before posting. But it’s worth it to put in the extra effort at this stage to avoid the nagging distraction going forward. I’m not in a hurry!

I retooled the Connection and Stewardship descriptions. My intentions are the connection between teacher and student, and the school’s stewardship of the community (students and other residents).

It bothers me slightly that the two stewardship pieces are lumped together. Or maybe mostly that the resident half is wordier. The easiest way to balance them would be to specify who gets the scholarships. But saying “scholarships to needy students” or “disadvantaged” or “under-served” seems both derogatory and self-inflating.

So let’s look at paring the service performance end of it. What summarizes them in a non-generic way?

I agree that the Expression description seems a little bland. I’m writing for adults and children, analytical and visceral folks, and I want to keep the text simple. Does my small tweak help convey the magic?