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This is my ‘I believe’ post, introducing my new hair service called the OH MY GODDESS.
Feedback for spelling, grammar and if this is clear or confusing please. Thank you.!NEW SERVICE ALERT!
I believe that we all could use more time to connect with ourselves. To be able to slow down, disconnect from the world, and tap in to our truest heart’s desires.
This is why I decided to infuse my gifts of energy work with my hair and scalp treatment services and called it the OH MY GODDESS experience. That’s right! I’m taking an already relaxing service and making it even better! Not only will your hair and scalp benefit, but so will your heart and soul.
By combining a variety of energy modalities such as Reiki, breathwork, crystals, and top quality hair and scalp treatments, I aim to deliver you an unforgettable and relaxing experience.
Aaaaaand, you can now book online!
Here’s the link…
4 Comments-
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![Profile picture of RuthRoland]()
I’ll try!
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![Profile picture of RuthRoland]()
Hi Aimee, this is an attempted reconstruction of a previous post. If you already read that one see which of them you like more. The first paragraph is FIRE! The second one starts slow. Instead, how about: “The OH MY GODDESS experience is energy work fused with hair and scalp treatment services. Energy modalities such as Reiki, breathwork, and crystals make an already relaxing service even better. Not only will your hair and scalp benefit, but so will your heart and soul!” Soup it up and puncuate it to your heart’s content. I’m not you, so put it in your voice (but feel free to use this exact phrasing). Consider adding details about the hair and scalp treatment (luscious oils, invigorating scrubs…) to go with the energy list. Then the last paragraph could just be something like, “This combination of energy modalities and top quality hair and scalp treatments delivers an unforgettable and relaxing experience: OH MY GODDESS!” This is actually a bit different than what I wrote before. I used a word last time (I remember thinking hard to come up with it) that I don’t remember now. If it comes to me I’ll let you know. Good work–and an amazing service!
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![Profile picture of DanielaBorgialli]()
crap my comments just disappeared !!!
I love this! and would love to experience the service!!!I have a similar suggestion to RuthRoland. Here is my suggestion:
The second sentence.
Infusing (my gifts of) energy work with my hair and scalp treatment services it’s called the OH MY GODDESS Experience.(like leading into excitement!)
And in the last sentence take out “aim to” deliver –
The Oh My Goddess Experience delivers… just say it!!!EXCITING!!!!!
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Fuck. I accidently delete @ruthviolincox-net comment – when I was trying to say BRAVO on that feedback. DAMN. Ruth, sorry, do you remember what you wrote? It was spot on!