NicholeMyles

JoelElfman

• 2 years, 3 months ago

Direct Offer Content
Are you feeling frustration, stress, anxiety, conflicted within yourself or with different parts of your life? Tired of conducting life from the rear seats vs. being your best self.

If so, join my signature BodyHypnosis program. 12 weeks of 1:1 personal sessions and learn how to:

– Create more awareness around the…Read More

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4 Comments
- AmyHager
  2 years, 3 months ago
  
  I love the end. If Change is calling, book a call. ❤️
- Amy Flo-Yo
  2 years, 3 months ago
  
  Wow I love it – easy to read – great flow!
- Shannon
  2 years, 3 months ago
  
  Joel – this is clear and concise – good job. I wouldn’t say “if so join my …” because you are then asking them for a consult. See how that may feel like a mixed message to your peeps? You might say something like: If this sounds like what you are experiencing, you may benefit from program called xyz. See the difference?
  - JoelElfman
    2 years, 3 months ago
    
    Thanks Shannon, I will include the change
KerstinPeters

• 2 years, 4 months ago

Direct Offer Email:

Guten Tag, NAME,

Do you want to become an engaged participant in German conversations?

I know how intimidating it is to learn and speak a new language from my own experiences. I did not dare to talk to people when I immigrated to Canada. I was so afraid everyone would think I was stupid because I could not express…Read More

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3 Comments
- AmyHager
  2 years, 3 months ago
  
  How did this go? I know you had it scheduled for after class. Do you have a link so we can see how it was laid out?
  - KerstinPeters
    2 years, 3 months ago
    
    Hi Amy, Here is the link to my newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/973bea04b7a5/german-news-5238392. I also posted it on my Facebook wall and shared it to my page and group. I had one comment and a couple of likes to the post. No response from the email.
    - KerstinPeters
      2 years, 3 months ago
      
      I will use the same template to promote my upcoming Facebook challenge this week. I will add FB lives to the mix to promote the event.
DonnaDube

• 2 years, 4 months ago

Would love any and all feedback on my direct offer post that would go into an email:

Hi ***,

Did you know that data driven businesses are 23 times more likely to acquire new customers and 19 times more likely to be profitable? Those are some staggering statistics folks, whether you love numbers or hate them. The evidence is clear that looking at…Read More

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11 Comments
- Annette Presley
  2 years, 4 months ago
  
  I think it sounds great!
  - DonnaDube
    2 years, 4 months ago
    
    Thanks Annette! I appreciate you taking the time to read it through.
- SusanMaldonado
  2 years, 4 months ago
  
  Yes this is so good!!
  - DonnaDube
    2 years, 4 months ago
    
    Thanks Sue! Appreciate it.
- NancyChen
  2 years, 4 months ago
  
  Hi Donna, this is reading tight and strong; good work, Any ideas for a grabby TITLE?
  - DonnaDube
    2 years, 4 months ago
    
    Thanks Nancy. For a title I was thinking “It’s time for profitable decision making in your business”
    - NancyChen
      2 years, 4 months ago
      
      Donna, I think that the arguments that you make so strongly to follow are too compelling, and almost demand, a hookier title. Let yourself get passionate about your topic, which you clearly are, and see what comes out :-D! ?How to make your numbers your best friend vs. your worst enemy? Stop sweeping the financial truth of your business under the…Read More
      
      DonnaDube
      2 years, 4 months ago
      
      Nancy, thanks for your kind words.. love your suggestions.. I will have some fun with it and see what I can come up with. Titles are obviously not my strong point! On a side note, I would be happy to chat with you further if you wish, no need to wait till you hit $200K!
      
      KerstinPeters
      2 years, 4 months ago
      
      Very clear and compelling, Donna. I have a similar problem with titles.
- JoelElfman
  2 years, 3 months ago
  
  Donna, really good.
  I would consider flipping “Are you ready to dump uncertain guesswork and start making profitable decisions in your business?, to “Are you ready to start making profitable decisions in your business, and dump uncertain guesswork?
  And I would also consider, again switching the CTA around, “Book a call with me and let’s make…Read More
  - DonnaDube
    2 years, 3 months ago
    
    Thanks Joel for your thoughts! I like your suggestions.
KerstinPeters

• 2 years, 4 months ago

Here are the results from taking part in my Summer Conversation Sessions:
1) You will become more comfortable and confident speaking German to be an engaged participant in conversations.
2) You will increase your vocabulary for small talk and feel part of the conversations.
3) You will connect and practice with other learners to feel supported…Read More

2 Comments
- Annette Presley
  2 years, 4 months ago
  
  For #1 I’d maybe say You will comfortably and confidently engage in conversations with those who speak German.
  - KerstinPeters
    2 years, 4 months ago
    
    Thanks, Annette.
DianaLidstone

• 2 years, 4 months ago

TAKE #2 – 3 results….

Here’s the results for my 1-1 Coaching program (12 months) — input pls … Working with me you will…

1. co-create & implement a VISIBILITY ROADMAP which ensures that you STAND OUT as the undeniable authority in your field so you magnetize dream clients with ease (without paid ads and perhaps without social med…Read More

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5 Comments
- KerstinPeters
  2 years, 4 months ago
  
  1) I would say …” without paid ads and even social media”. Your clients can still use any or both, but you give them options to succeed without these tools. 2) Do you only work with entrepreneurs who already have a team? If I read this, I assume it is not for solopreneurs. 3) “… to pay yourself and your team competitively. You might even…Read More
  - DianaLidstone
    2 years, 4 months ago
    
    Thanks so much Kerstin!!!
- DianaLidstone
  2 years, 4 months ago
  
  #3 — Optimize your business model and metrics in your PROFIT Plan that will uncover hidden profit leaks and where you might be leaving money on the table.
  - AmyHager
    2 years, 4 months ago
    
    Uncover hidden profit leaks and where you might be leaving money on the table so we can optimize your PROFIT Plan for the future.
- Annette Presley
  2 years, 4 months ago
  
  I might change the second point to use a comma after bottleneck and then ‘allowing you the freedom you truly desire.’
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