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FLAP YOUR WINGS reboot:
They never expected THIS to hatch out of their egg!
“If an egg is in your nest, you sit on it and keep it warm. It doesn’t matter whose egg it is.” That’s one of the many lines that brought tears to my eyes.Jeff brought home a copy of P.D. Eastman’s Flap Your Wings from a garage sale when Cole was little. I was excited b…Read More
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![Profile picture of RuthRoland]()
Still thinking of an appropriate question/suggestion. I love the idea of a question, but I also think the aiming and practicing themes are apt. Integrity, loyalty, and non-judgment take a back seat (albeit leaning forward and sometimes tuning the radio) to those we actively teach. Not directly addressing the audience also seems more comfortable…Read More
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Also–I don’t know how to bold text on this platform, but I’ve bolded “THIS,” “NOT,” and “what would make it IMPOSSIBLE.”
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![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
whatever you do to make it stand out more is useful.
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Here is a draft video, it hasn’t gone out yet, unless someone stumbles across it on YouTube,
My Content Personality is Live/In-person. The script is below, it roughly follows the video.
I have not designed the mentioned workshop yet, I thought using this Behind the Scenes video might be an interesting way to…Read More
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This is the best video I’ve seen from you, Joel! It’s warm and conversational. It’s just a tad disconcerting that you seem to be looking at my belly button most of the time instead of in my eyes. What if you dressed up the camera lens with a wig above and bowtie beneath? And hid your image (if that’s what you’re talking to)? You made good contact…Read More
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![Profile picture of Shannon]()
THIS VIDEO is fantastic Joel! so smoothe and the messaging is fantastic. YAY. Like Ruth said, with time, you’ll be looking at us in our eyes. Keep it up!
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![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
Thanks Ruth! I was trying to keep my eyes up, but I guess I started looking at my image again. The idea of putting a wig around the camera is hysterical. I was looking at cameras or a stand for my phone. I wasn’t quite seeing what I wanted. I guess I will look again. Thanks, again for your wonderful encouragement.
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![Profile picture of JoelElfman]()
Hi Shannon, Thanks for your wonderful words. This one was fun, and thinking of a way to tie back to both my mailing list & testing the concept of this class w/ a waiting list was super cool! I don’t think I would have imagined that without the constant inspiration from you, Amy & the group. I’m still thinking of recording this one more time, any…Read More
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Ok – so i tried to upload my attempt at this month’s messaging here and that didn’t work so i just went for it… – not sure what my block to this task is but here’s my attempt…
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CxS8Xogrmh9/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==![Profile Photo]()
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I LOVE knowing this about you – swimming and tango and the stamina that’s needed. Well done – gives me a DIFFERENT glimpse into your world. <3
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This was my attempt at bridging something I do often (cook) and my business. Great session this week, I look forward to seeing more of your content being shared, email, posted, published… whatever. Get it out there
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i see… seems too easy!!! 🙂
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@amymshannonhernandez-com I was SO impressed when I saw this post in my feed a couple days ago. You bridged it SO well.
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Sometimes, I swear, I can follow recipes exactly the way they’re written.
But they rarely turn out as well as when I take a few liberties. Know what I mean?
The vegetables cut in your family’s preferred shapes.
The sugar and salt adjusted to your tastes.Even adding the ingredients in the order you’re most comfortable with (liquids first vs. d…Read More
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Hey Ruth – I love this storytelling and anology – but where is the tie in back to you, your biz, the lesson with music, etc? I feel like this ends kinda abruptly – I’m a little lost. Can you patch the holes?
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Working on it! I know what it is, but this sounds so little like me I kinda abandoned it. Trying a different tone that feels less like every email salesperson I’ve ever encountered. Stay tuned!
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I love this! and yes – what Shannon said!!! 🙂
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Here’s the Mr. Twinkletoes episode of my podcast, which I mentioned on the call this past week: https://kite.link/CPT65
It’s one of my Creative Pep Talks, which I put out every other week on the podcast. They’re short, off-the-cuff, unedited episodes about a single creative tool or tip. I’ve been doing them for about two and a half years now.
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@norbeckgmail-com – Nancy – such a joy to hear you in action today. I might have a new podcast to tune into. Love that this is off-the cuff, short, and your commentary and insight. love the invitation to be silly and foolish at the end.
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@norbeckgmail-com – also went to your website – and I have some feedback on that, if you are open to it? Let me know 🙂
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That poor website has been reviewed by SO many people that it’s probably gonna have an identity crisis, but sure, why not?
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They never expected THIS to hatch out of their egg!
“If an egg is in your nest, you sit on it and keep it warm. It doesn’t matter whose egg it is.” That’s one of the many lines that brought tears to my eyes.
Jeff brought home a copy of P.D. Eastman’s Flap Your Wings from a garage sale when Cole was little. I was excited because I knew of Are Yo…Read More
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@ruthviolincox-net – when I saw this come up on my feed I smiled. Once again, same feedback as before – this is GREAT story telling and insight and example. How does it relate to music or instruments. I think bridging the gap will make it even stronger.
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![Profile picture of RuthRoland]()
Amy worked on this quite a bit with me yesterday. Looking forward to finishing the edits and maybe making it into 2 or 3 posts. Thank you!
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Hooks
Van Gogh’s Electrified Face Stopped Me Cold
Has a work of art ever stopped you dead in your tracks?
Have you ever been surprised by joy?
Ever been blind-sided by a work of art?
Ever been mugged by a painting?
Vincent Van Gogh mugged me in broad daylight.
Dare to be vivid.Van Gogh’s Electrified Face
The first painting of the Van Gogh…Read More![]()
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![Profile picture of Dan Lewis]()
Looking for feedback. Does the feeling come across? Too long?
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![Profile picture of Shannon]()
@danbadassity-com – these are my two favorite hooks – way to brainstorm MANY and get the ideas flowing: Ever been mugged by a painting?
Vincent Van Gogh mugged me in broad daylight. -
![Profile picture of Shannon]()
@danbadassity-com – as far as the content goes, I loved the entire thing – minus the 2nd paragraph- I actually got lost there, and probably would have not kept reading. But if you take that out, I think it still flows very well and gets the point across. I also wan tot share that there is a way to transiton to the CTA that will really tie it all…Read More
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![Profile picture of Dan Lewis]()
Thanks, Shannon!
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![Profile picture of Dan Lewis]()
Posted this revision on LinkedIn today:
Ever been mugged by a work of art?
A couple of weeks ago I went to Chicago’s Art Institute to take in a Van Gogh exhibition. The first painting, a self-portrait, stopped me cold and just wouldn’t let me pass.
Van Gogh’s face was charged, vibrating, buzzing with luminous energy. Each whisker of his…Read More
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Direct offer – first draft
I inserted some introductory, positioning copy in the first section. A challenge I’m wrestling with is that I’m more than a photographer; I’m a coach and consultant as well to get the results I get.Step 1: What is your direct offer? We want you to be selling NOW!
SELL: First Impression Basic Personal Brand…Read More
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Very compelling!
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@danbadassity-com – the clarity here is great for all section. I am getting hung up on the package title – which is quite long: First Impression Basic Personal Brand Portfolio Package . Titles matter a lot to selling things – think about it like this – what is the result of working with you? Can we rework this title package. For example, we have a…Read More
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![Profile picture of Dan Lewis]()
Yeah, I’ve been struggling with the title. Focusing on results is helpful.
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![Profile picture of Dan Lewis]()
Hi, Shannon! I’ve taken a swing at rewriting all my “packages” and giving them more concise names. The challenge is to make each package of services immediately graspable, but also that there’s a progression of fullness. Would you take a look? Thanks!
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Hey everyone! I took a stab at writing an email with the behind the scenes content and I’d love some feedback. I am not sure exactly how to tie in the CTA. I feel like it kind of sneaks up on you and needs a better transition. The topic is Travel and the hook is a question. Thanks!
Here is the email:
Title: How can getting your finances…Read More
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![Profile picture of RuthRoland]()
Well done! Neither of your CTAs bothered me. I would have preferred the first one (Want to hear more about that?…) in parentheses, but it works as is. I bet others will have tips about how to smooth those transitions, but to me they worked well.
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![Profile picture of Dan Lewis]()
Thanks for sharing your love of travel, Sara. I love to travel too! May I make two suggestions?
Get specific and sensory. It’s the little details that spark engagement and presence you. Today I’m thinking back to a trip to Venice we made on our honeymoon. I remember the heat and the orange glow of the molten glass in the glass-blowing workshop on…Read More -
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I see how you feel you have dumped all the engagement at the end. What if you sprinkle it throughout and bold it so people see it.
Title: How can getting your finances organized free you from FOMO?I’m not sure if you know this about me, but I love to travel. I do it any chance that I get. From a weekend spa getaway to a trip to a new city – I’m…Read More
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Ruth this is awesome!
A couple of small things come to mind
1- referencing the author – I would add a tiny more explanation – “”I was excited because I knew Eastman’s books, Are You…”
2- layout – I might consider putting the NOT – on the same line as Fiddlesticks
– and bolding “What would make it IMPOSSIBLE…” (I love this question)…Read More